Thursday, 4 August 2011
04:18:59 PM (GMT)
I’m writing this to you know though I know you are dead and it’s my fault. Before
I lose what little sanity I have left I want to write my thoughts down here and hide
this somewhere. I know this is stupid as you can’t read it but I somehow have a
feeling that you’ll know what I’m saying anyway.
I told you that you’d fucked with the wrong guy but I guess I was too late in
warning you. I didn’t think I’d remember, that I’d care after those years had
passed but I did; in the back of my mind. I’m sorry…
God, I feel like such an idiot, even after… well you know after what we did; I
still couldn’t forgive you. Because of that I can’t forgive myself. I ignored
your feelings and shoved them back in your face without a care….
I don’t blame you if you hate me, I deserve that from you. Everything you did to
me, I deserve it now. I….I didn’t know I had such power to do that to someone, to
make them suffer so much……
I hope you’re proud Larry, an insane but genius psychopath reduced to this. It’s
just like back then isn’t it?
I’m going to keep this short; I know I’ll lose it forever now.
The only thing I regret about then was not telling you how I felt. But I’ll tell
you now…I loved you. Despite what you did to me and what you said, the nicer side
of you got to me and messed me up. They weren’t just impulses; I was making up
stupid excuses because of my pride. I was too embarrassed to admit how I felt and I
didn’t want to believe it myself so I denied it.
Do you think things would be different if I wasn’t being such a coward?
Shit…My vision is blurring with tears.
Larry….I miss you and this side of me will always love you.
I guess it’s like I’m dying with you isn’t it? Losing this personality will
hopefully make me forget about you. I’m sorry it sounds selfish but I don’t want
these memories to linger anymore.
I’m slipping away….I just wish that I’d killed you in a much quicker way; I’m
getting it too easy.
You’ll be forever loved
this may seem a little confusing but it's made from a roleplay me and someone are
doing. Yes it is yaoi :D I was told I should post it here >:D