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This diary entry is written by ‹Stellar_Sells!<3 =D›. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: ugh, once again, late night strikes again! in category (general)

Too farCategory: (general)
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
04:23:18 AM (GMT)
I feel I'm in too deep
how do I retrace my steps and end up where I began?
I want to give in to temptation
but I feel that's very bad

I know how breaking someone makes it easier for them to let go...
sadly I know

Today I almost cried,
I never do that....well, rarely,
and it was cuz I'm scared to lose you
yes, for selfish reasons,
I'm a selfish attention whore, which makes me hate my self more
but, also because I love you, you take care of me, yes 
I take care of you,
but you take care of me too

My life would go to hell without you
I prolly wouldn't survive well
I never wanted to realize that, or even admit it,
even though deep down I knew it

the sad thing is....
I was talking about it just the other day....
I WAS serious....
I guess we'll know come the day...

this has made me realize that everyone leaves me....
and if they don't, I've gotten to the point where I push them away
I get scared and just push the out of my life
cuz I don't want to get left, dropped,forgotten
and I don't even realize it....
I'm tired of being invisible....

I'm trying to fix it...
really, I am... <3

another sad thing is, I never tell you I love you....
ever, I'm just not affectionate, but, yet I am...
It's complicated,I'm complicated

I'm the offspring of 
two complete polar opposites 
that have managed to (barely) 
live together for more than 20 years
They are bound to have complicated children... 
I guess that's me, I'm the odd one out, but yet I fit in if I try and want to.... but
I don't, so oh well...

this is not a crappy song that I like and wrote,
it's me going on,and being a whiney little attention whore,
oops, sorry haha <3

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