Thursday, 28 January 2010
12:30:34 AM (GMT)
"so. thee was a unicorn princess named bailey. and then all of a sudden there was
this t rex in her room. and she was all "WTF" and the t rex was all "IMMA EAT YOU
GIRL" then the ninja tat was in her closet busted through. He beat up the like T Rex.
and then little farm boy Divad like cxame with willy. and willy and his giant pirate
friend came. and then bailey jumped out the window. and a spaceship like came and
took her. and so she was scared shitless until like the relased her on a deserted
island. and on that island they had flapyjack and bubbi and cap'n kinuckles. and then
bailey hugged flapjack. and flapjack laffed. and then Divad wanted a hug. So Cap'n
kinuckles gave him one. and then Divad asked him to the gay bar. and Flapjack was
and then we all ended up at the gay bar. and there was some explict dancing. and then
all of a sudden the gay bar just collasped. but Divad kept dancing. So flapjack and I
decided to leave. And then I went on the journey to Awesome Face land. and then King
Awesome Face knighted me. Mistar M'am Knight Lady.
And it was all pretty epic. and idfk whar Divad came from he just like showed up. and
then he got knighted too. to like. Misses Mistar Knighted Man. BEcause in Awesome
face land. They put the opposite gender name first. So you like, don't get confused.
Then he landed in a tomoato farm. And then Divad ran off screaming, because he
doesn't like tomatoes. But i was like "wtf get back here" so then i ran after him.
and then i tried and fell into this rabbit hole. and then Divad and Osama Bin Laden
was there and i was all "ohgod"
But then Divad and Osama were doin some rainbow sparkly stuffed. I think they called
it Kef. Whatever that was. Sounds like a boys name. Whoa, wtf did I say I? I meant
Bailey. Ffffffff. anyways. So then Bailey was all "OHWADDUPG" and Divad was all high
he was liek "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHLULULULULULULLULUL I SEE UNICORNSSSSSSS AND
RAINBOWS" then i was all like "LOLLOL NO YOUR JUST LOOKIN AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR
DRESS" then Osama was like "WHOA YOUR WEARIN A DRESS DUDE" and then like Divad was
like "WHOA, AREN'T YOU DEAD
and then i was like.
and then bailey like ran down a tunnel because Divad and Osama blew bailey's mind.
and then like. the magic tooth fairy came and was like. "IMMA GRANT U 3 W!SH35 K BAI"
and bailey didn't know wai the tooth fairy said k bai. so then she continued to run.
and she liked..blacked out. and then Divad was a like alpaca. and then Divad was like
"Ride me" and then Bailey was all "WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAA. THAT SOUNDS WRONG + YOU LIEK
but Divad was like. "I CAN GET YOU THAR FASTER" and then i got on Divad's back.
REaling I have never rode an alpaca and this was probably the closest i would get to
a real-live unicorn.
then Miley Cyrus' song "Party in the USA started playing" then Divad did this alpaca
dance and then i was like. "EPIC" and then rode off to this place called Britain. And
all of a sudden Divad and Bailey were like weeshfeesh. All the other people were
jealous. Then Team Jacob girls came and was like "OHLULULU LOOK AN ASIAN" and bailey
was like "OHLULULULU TEAM JACOB GIRLS WITH NO LIFE AND MASTURBATE TO HIS PICTURE
EVERY FIVE SECONDS AND DON'T REALIZE THAT HE IS NOT REAL AND THAT THE STORY IS
FICITION AND THAT ALSO THOSE WOLVES IN THE MOVIES WERE OBVIOUSLY FAKE, SAME GOES TO
YOU TEAM EDWARD GIRLS, YOU CAN SUCK HIS HAIRY COCK AND CHOKE ON IT I HOPE WHILE I
KICK YOU IN THE UTERUS SO YOU CAN'T HAVE BABIES K BAI"
and Divad admitted that that was the best conversation ever. and then that guy who
called him a girl in his dead-language-class-that-he-takes-and-doesn't-even-like came
by. and then bailey was like "WHOA HOLD THE FUCK UP, MISTER. YOU DON'T CALL DIVAD A
GIRL. YOU FUCKING RESPECT HIM AND HIS SHIT. HIS SHIT IS BETTER THAN YOURS. HE'S FROM
VIETNAM. WHAR ARE YOU FRAM? AYE. YOUR MOM'S VAGINA. THAT'S RIGHT, BUT SO IS HE. BUT
LIKE, A VIETAMESE VAGINA. WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY BETTER, K? AND DON'T YOU HEAR HIS DEEP
VOICE, K? AND THAT MANLY SMELL K? NOW, BEFORE I KICK YOU IN YOUR NUTSACK I WILL TWIST
and then Divad was like "no, that's fien no need to get violent" so he did it
himself. and then i was a very proud friend that day. then we opened up wang's shack
and the asian kiddies came by. except for this one mexican kid. like where the fuck
did he come from. His name is Pablo? He comes from Venezula? He thinks that shit is
the shit? wtfwtfwtfwhereisthisgoing. So Divad ended up having us fly back on a maigk
carpet and then he was all. "Oh bailey i have something to tell you" and she was like
"watwat" and then Divad was like "I GOT A DOLLA" and then bailey was so fookin amazed
she shitted some brick. not literally. shitting brick would hurt. she thought.
and then everything just seemed a little better and then Divad and bailey skipped off
into the sunset and it was the end of this mofo story."
and i hope you read all of that, because i swear it will make your day