Thursday, 29 January 2009
09:44:31 PM (GMT)
Plagued by silent nightmares and half-forgotten images, Noodle returned from L.A. to
her homeland of Japan, to search for her past, the one she could never remember.
Using a capsule hotel for her base, she trawlwed the streeets of Tokyo for almost a
year, following rumours of secret army bases and crack miniature troops. These
snatches of stories seem to stir something withing her.
They lead her to the open restaurants of downtown Hong Kong, where slumped in steamed
fish shop, young Noodle accidently knocks over a tray of freshly cooked 'Ocean
Bacon'. (Recipe on website in Noodle's room).
This unique an unlikely combination of words triggers a flashback of devastating
consequence. She remembers everything! Suddenly out of the kitchen comes the chef and
retired army officer, Mr.Kyuzo. It can't be! Noodle's mentor and trainer!
Re-united with Mr.Kyuzo, Noodle disovers she was one of 23 kids trained as part of an
elite crack team for the Japanese government at a secret military compound.
It was Mr.Kyuzo's "duty to train the children in every martial art including sonic
warfare. He taught them all languages including sign and lip-reading. Computers,
mechanics, Gameboys... Their skills were endless."
Noodle was the star pupil and the most favoured by Mr.Kyuzo. He also gave every child
a special individual skill of their own. Noodle was taught as a musician. Her
specialised instrument was guitar, but young Noodle was so gifted she became
completely fluent in all instruments.
But it was as a junior fighting militia where the kids really excelled.
"No-one would ever suspect that these children were capable of such devastating
destruction! Godzilla destroyed Tokyo maybe 100 times but this was nothing compared
to what these kids could do when activated. It was ingenious!"
"When training the children there were three command phrases. One to remember who
they were; their pasts and their training as soldiers. Another phrase to forget this
information and all their military training. Useful if you are caught in battle
behing enemy lines. And lastly one... one to turn her into the most devastating
killing maching the world has ever seen! A wave of unstoppable fury that would last
precisely one minute! Like a miniature atom bomb!"
BUT UNFORTUNATELY these tests were abandoned and the government proposed to
"de-comission" all of these kids. It was Mr.Kyuzo who smuggled Noodle to safety in
England. She was such a magnificent player he sent her for an audition and to what he
believed would be the relative anonymitiy of a turdy English band (Who would have
guessed, eh readers!)
But now, united once more with Mr.Kyuzo, she has re-discovered her past. Her memory
is regained and her awesome skills are returned. She now even speaks fluent English!
More importantly she has remembered the importance of her true mission. The real
reason for her training, and the reason why Kyuzo knew it would be Nodle that would
play a role that would be of such significance! Time is of the essence and these are
matters of shit importance!
"GOD SPEED YOUNG WARRIOR!"
Noodle returns to Kong Studios to complete her unfinished business. It is time to
re-unite Gorillaz and launch another killer Gorillaz album. The ammunition!
She has solemnly vowed not to reveal stage three of her mission until the time is
right. Widely Noodle keeps her 'secret passwords' close to her chest in an envelope
at all times.
God forbid the secre of these passwords should ever fall into the wrong hands. Like,
say, erm, Murdoc for instance.
NOODLE'S RETURN TO KONG
Noodle's return to Kong Studios preceded the others by a good six months! Which is
probably just as well. What was once a well-equipped studio ona hilltop in Essex has
now in their absence degenerated into a terifying horror-filled hourse of blood, guts
and infestation from Zombies. Death, disease and the undead now roam the corridors
and enclaves of the studios.
The young warrior Noodle, although shocked, wastes no time in dispensing enough of
these flesh-craving automatons in order to seal herself up in the TV room. Arming
herself with a massive array of zombie deflecting weapons, flame-throwers, flares and
a a zombie proof body suit, she takes refuge while awaiting the return of the others.
Now that Noodle can understand English, she uses this time to research and soak up
the culture, Dear God! Just as Noodle suspected! As the multiple T.V. sets flicker
out an endless stream of useless info, history and garbage, the evidence is all
there. Subliminal drivel! Talent shows, game shows, reality shows. The disease is
Noodle films the zombies of Kong and releases this as the proof of the illness, under
the guise of a Satelite Gorillaz broadcast video entitled 'ROCK IT'.
This revelation becomes the seed for her fresh assault on the world, and the drive
behind the new Gorillaz offensive. Noodle immediately launches her own 'Search for a
Star' mission, sending out her coded signal and looking for real sentient life out in
the airwaves. A call to arms for all genuine talent and like-minded creators! The
dark is rising, there is a day of reckoning coming and maybe the harvest is almost