Sunday, 18 January 2009
10:52:07 PM (GMT)
So as some of you may or may not know, my family and I haven't exactly had the best
of luck with father figures. My dad left when I was two and came back at thirteen
only to leave again a year later. My sisters dad beat us and has been out of the
picture for the most part since about fifth grade. Last, our step dad, almost nailed
the dad thing but once his depression came back things fell apart and so on. So about
a year ago we moved into our tiny little house and we've been doing relatively okay.
Could be worse and all that.
Well my mom has recently started dating a new guy. He's really nice and cool, plus he
has two little ones. Here's my ailment: I'm REALLY uncomfortable with it all. He's
always here and stays over all the time. When he comes over my mom always has a shit
ton of wine which she NEVER drinks when it's just us. She's also kindof rude to me
and my sister when he's around. The bf is an awesome guy. He's super fun and it's not
creepy to talk to him as a person. But then it's like 'oh yeah he's doing my mom.'
and then it just doesn't feel right. I've had my fair share of father figures and I
really don't like the idea of going through all that again. To be perfectly honest it
scares me more than pretty much anything on this planet and the next. I mentally and
physically can't handle the thought of getting close to someone in that way and then
having the rug ripped out from under me for a FOURTH time. It's just not pretty.
I love that my moms happy and I'm glad it's someone like him rather than a creeper
but I just.... I don't know, it's just not right. He's been here since friday and it
is now sunday. The same went for last weekend. And my mom pretty much told me and my
sister that we had to leave the house and go sit at the key when it opens. The bf
didn't say anything but mom was really just kindof mean about it. She's not acting
like herself. To anyone else she would seem normal but I notice things and so does my
sister, that only her kids could see.
There's more to all this but I'm scared my mom will come upstairs and I don't want
her to see this cause she'll get all dramatic and I really hate it when she does that
so uhm I'm going to leave things at this for now. Advice, support, whatever, it's all