Thursday, 10 April 2008
08:33:46 AM (GMT)
For the record, I'm posting here because I can't be bothered to head to livejournal
and post there.
Anyway, I had a pretty crap day yesterday. Well, no, it was just plain crap. Super
crap in fact.
I had to go into college for one lecture yesterday morning. Twas psychology, which I
love. I went in, we did recap work on models and theories of abnormality for an hour,
then for the last half an hour or so we were going to watch a video on eating
disorders. I sit there, quite happily watching this vid, then I start to feel mor and
more upset as the video continues. By the end of the lesson I had the weird feeling
you get when you know you want to cry, but you physically won't - you know, that
tight, dull feeling.
I didn't say anything to my lecturer, just rushed up to the top of the building as I
had an appointment with a learning mentor to help me avoid getting an E on my next
sociology paper. He was with someone so I had to wait outside. So, I wait and after
around 30 seconds I start crying. Not loudly, you know, just very quietly sobbing. I
manage to stop making a noise but I can't stop the tears, and I begin getting
frustrated with myself as it was stupid to be getting upset like that, but it doesn't
help. Eventually I stop crying, the learning mentor becomes free and we start to head
into his room when he realises somethings up. He takes me outside, then into an
unsused room to talk.
I had become upset because my sister had, a few years ago, suffered from anorexia and
depression. The video brought back memories of that time (I've skipped a lot of facts
because I'm in a rush - needless to say it was a hell of a lot worse than it
Anyway, I've spoken to my lecturer since and I've been, basically, allowed to leave
the class at anytime if I start to get upset. It stupid, I haven't been affected like
this before (I'm covering eating disorders in key skills) but...I guess the video
really made an impact on me...
I'll go to Psychology today, quite happily, but I'm still nervious about
Oh, and to top that off, yesterday I was meant to be going cinema with a friend; she
wasn't where we said to meet, not at her house either. The cinema was gonna cheer me
up, but instead made me feel even worse. I swear to whatever higher power you care to
mention, sometimes it'd be easier not to have friends at all...