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This diary entry is written by ‹LooneyLizardman›. ( View all entries )
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omfg this is so damn funnyCategory: (general)
Saturday, 27 October 2007
12:20:23 AM (GMT)

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your

Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."


Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father?
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3,'" I said "6", replies TONY.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3 x 2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"


Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going
to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of
a multi-syllable word?"

TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."

Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blow job."


Little TONY was sitting in class one day.
All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom.
He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
in this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
allow you to go."

Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"


One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the
same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

She said, "Excellent, Michael!"
Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY.

"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"


Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you
know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne,
rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a

Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business.

candee3t says:   27 October 2007   111342  
that was funny, but yet slightly gross
‹LooneyLizardman› says:   27 October 2007   789155  
h0w was it gross?
XxXFox_girlXxX says:   27 October 2007   489167  
Lol omg thats so fucking funny XD
jojo9876 says:   27 October 2007   892891  
lol that was frunking funny it made me laugh hard
‹LooneyLizardman› says:   27 October 2007   642738  
i know it's funny my dad told me these jokes and i got them from the
forum he goes on
‹WE'RE GOING IN THE VAGINAAAA› says:   27 October 2007   551817
emotional1 says:   19 November 2007   329412  
omg. I'm in the campus library and I laughed so hard XD
‹LooneyLizardman› says :   19 November 2007   538313  
hehehe well what can you do ya laugh get in trouble and move on with
your life right?

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