Sunday, 27 May 2007
04:22:10 PM (GMT)
This is not true. This is just a passage that I felt like writing.
Friday, 28 April
I went to school as normal today. I wondered if my Daddy was going to
spoil it after I came back, like he usually did. Well, my normal rota was: school,
swimming, come home, eat, get beaten and then lay awake until my tears put me to
sleep. I wondered, as I was sitting in class, if today would be different. If he
would say sorry for all the things he'd done in the past, if I would forgive him. But
then I realised, it wasn't going to happen. This was going to carry on forever. Well,
it wasn't so bad now. I'd got used to it. His slaps don't hurt as much now. Daddy had
warned me, way back, if I told of him, then I was going to get a serious beating. He
said it would be a thousand times worse than the worst beating I've ever had. The
only person I've told is my best friend Kayleigh, but I can't even trust her anymore.
So, as I was walking home from swimming, I started to wonder again. What would it be
today? Slaps? Kicks? Punches? You could never tell with Daddy. Mummy doesn't even
care anymore now. It's so awful. I have no one to turn to but my teddy, Tubby. And
Tubby doesn't even reply. I have no one to turn to. So as I opened the door my heart
was pounding. My arms were stinging all over with past history of abuse. I think
Daddy sometimes enjoys hurting me. But I know one thing for certain. I don't.
Lots of love,
Sunday, 30 April
Friday's beating was worse than any other. This time I didn't only
have slaps and kicks, but I had things thrown at me. Things like books and even
chairs. I have a scar on my back now where Daddy pushed me against the cooker. It is
in the shape of a big O and it will remain there forever. After my beating I locked
myself in my bedroom and cried myself to sleep. My scar burned. But now its Sunday
and Daddy is out at work. I am here on my own apart from Mummy, but she's not company
anymore. I am tempted to call someone to tell but I can hear Daddy's stern words in
my head about the beating "a thousand times worse than the worst beating..."
and then I shake my head and decide its not worth the risk. I could almost see Daddy
marching through that door and shouting at me until my ears rang. And then would come
the beating. I lay down on the sofa. Mummy was upstairs. I didn't even talk to her
anymore. She wasn't a comfort. She was too scared off Daddy. I'm not even allowed to
go out with my friends. Not that I have any now. Kayleigh won't talk to me. It's too
much of a worry to think about if she tells. I'm going to get hurt.
Lots of love,
Ok just so you know that is not true so do not ask!!!!!