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This diary entry is written by ‹Hallow Bane›. ( View all entries )

Despised DependenceCategory: Unleashed
Wednesday, 8 October 2014
10:57:15 PM (GMT)
Can you hear me?
Can you see me?
Can you feel me?

I don't want you to.
The horrors of my mind are mine alone, terrifying in all their glorious madness,
flaying me without a sign.

I do want you to.
I want you to see me, hear me, feel me.
I want you to care.
I don't want to show you. I don't want to explain.

I can't explain.
My sobs will choke me, rendering me speechless, stealing the breath from my body and
leaving me empty.

Exhausted, as they question my depression - the depression they don't truly see.
Smiling as I reassure them.
Hoping they'll label me a liar.
Hoping for my own reassurance.

Listening as they so freely spout their problems.
Wondering how emotionally stunted I must be, that they go through so much and can
still speak of it.

Ashamed. My problems become so little, so meaningless...
I don't want you to know how weak I am.
Except that I do.
I want you to see me, hear me, feel me.

See the pain behind my smile, hear the screaming behind my silence.
Feel the pulsing pieces of my heart, gushing pain for my frailty and condemning me
for it - see me, hear me, feel me.

And simply be there, saying nothing, becoming the comfort for my throbbing mind.
Last edited: 8 January 2015

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