Monday, 14 April 2014
10:09:44 AM (GMT)
Alright, so we are at Week 30/31 of being pregnant and already it is becoming a
hazard to my health. In the past week, I have had to go to hospital and nearly die on
the table because of my stupid blood pressure; I found out I have a very
well-developed baby that could come out a month earlier than expected; and I had a
false labor last night. Fun, yeah. But, in less than two months, I will hold my
newborn son in my arms and promise to care for him for the rest of my life.
Some people have become to look at me so weirdly. In the shopping centre today, this
older woman whispered to her friend and pointed at me. I know I am short, and that
makes me look younger than I am. But that doesn't mean strangers have the right to
judge me. I didn't tell them they had more chins than a Chinese phone book and it was
sickening to watch them shovel food into their mouths did I? No, my body is my body.
I don’t care if I’m 19, I didn't plan for any of the shit to happen in my life
but it did. You just have to take what comes with a heavy heart and do your best.
My son is a miracle to both me and Damon. And nobody will ever change the way I feel
about myself. I pray to my gods that my son comes into this world in a far greater
way than I. All I want is for him to be able to grow up without being judged because
his mother was a 19 year old, emotionally scarred woman when he was born. I hope,
with all the power of mighty Hecate herself, that he will see his parents as the
loving couple who created him out of their supreme love for each other. That is my
goal to work towards for the nest few weeks.