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This diary entry is written by x_InfamePimpcess. ( View all entries )

My sick obsession pt 1Category: Sick Obsession
Tuesday, 17 September 2013
05:42:55 PM (GMT)
You were my sick obsession.. You were all that I wanted to revolve my world around.
It was almost like you were the medicine that cured me when I started to feel a
little queasy. Even though you were the one who made me feel that to begin with. You
were the person who wound me back up when I would unravel like a ball of yarn down a
flight of stairs. It was like I’d go to you for whatever I needed. When I would
need a smile, a laugh or just a distraction. You were like a sitcom on tv or a comedy
movie that I’d be able to play for myself any second of the day. But, all things
that start out so sweet and cute, don’t always end off that way. This is where the
sick part comes in. I began to get so accustomed to talking to you every second of
every minute of every day. It was almost as if you became the oxygen that filled my
lungs, the words that I would speak, the sounds I would hear and the beauty in every
image that I seen. Metaphorically speaking, I slept; breathed and ate.. you.
Everything I did revolved around you. And before I would do something, I would seek
your approval and your opinion. As if, if you didn’t agree with what I did, you
wouldn’t see what you once seen in me. But slowly, my obsession began to grow more
and more- and the sooner I started to realize that I was the only one who felt as
strongly as I did about you. The amount of love that I had for you seemed like enough
to move mountains, it felt like it was enough to defy gravity and I would be able to
walk on the surface water of any ocean just to make myself closer to you. But as my
vision started to clear and become less foggy from descending from cloud 9, I
realized that if you were to put what we both wanted in front of a mirror, it
wouldn’t reflect the same image. The purity of mine was the opposite of yours,
yours became photo shopped into a picture that you knew wasn’t possible. Love is
when you accept someone with all of his or her flaws and faults, but your image, your
image was much different. You seen an image of a man, better yet, a boy. A boy who
was the opposite of anything you’ve ever wanted. Your image was to change him, to
change him into the opposite of everything that was him. But sadly for you, you
failed. Your intentions towards love were not pure as they should have been; you
tried to alter the natural beauty of a person like you worked at a cosmetics factory.
Because the person in which he was, was not up to your standards. The things that he
would stand for and what he wanted, did not fit into the puzzle that you pictured as
your life. Wasting years on trying to shift him into the right pieces, you finally
gave up.. When you did, you realized what you messed up and what you lost. You
finally realized that you had the perfect picture, the complete puzzle, right in
front of you. But it just wasn’t good enough. Nothing was good enough for you. Now,
now you’re just a lost cause. You’re a broken puzzle with 100 pieces missing.
You’ve got an incomplete puzzle with a picture that’s never going to happen.
Whatever you get in life now, will never be what you could have had before.

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Next entry: My Sick Obsession pt 2 in category Sick Obsession
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