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This diary entry is written by ‹cosmickitten›. ( View all entries )
 
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How I feel.Category: (general)
Thursday, 15 November 2012
10:34:18 AM (GMT)
I feel like my entire world came crashing down, right in a matter of two
days.
I lost the guy I never thought would leave me. 
Because he's stressed out.
My grades are not going to revive.
I haven't been eating.
I relapsed.
I failed everyone.

I wish he would talk to me.
He said I was perfect and that he loved me, in the last conversation we
had.
But that he needed time, due to stress.
And I want to be the best I can be,
I want to help and he wont let me.
I'd probably get in the way any way.
But the way he's going about this KILLS me.
He wont talk to me.
I am killing myself slowly.
The thoughts running through my head.
"He left for another girl, he doesn't love you, he used you all this
time."
I wish I could ignore them because I don't believe he's that kind of guy.
It.
Hurts.
It hurts, so much.
I can't even express how it feels.
So this was all Tuesday night.
then Wednesday morning I get in a fight.
and I end up doing dumb shit.
Because this kid harasses me and I was sick of it.
What else would I have to lose?
I now have to go to counseling two times a week every week until I show signs
of improvement.
I haven't stopped crying. 
The thought of him makes me cry. 
We did absolutely everything together. 
Everything I do, say, think, makes me cry. 
Because it all reminds me of him.

He was my everything, and right now I have nothing.

Please, PLEASE, please.
come back to me.

I don't know what to do without you.


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