Friday, 30 September 2011
11:35:21 PM (GMT)
Yep. He broke up with me.
The story is, I kinda saw this coming yesterday, he started acting strange and
But today at lunch, he asks me if we can talk. Here it comes. He tells me that one of
his friends really likes me, and that when we started dating, he got all sad. Then,
he says, "So, yeah..I guess-"
But I don't hear anything else because I just nod and walk away.
And I kind of wander around the cafeteria for a bit before Branden comes up to me,
and we talk about it. I ask him if the friend thing is true, or if it was bullshit.
No, it was true. Why am I crying? What's wrong with me? I ask him who it was.
Trystin. I don't even like him as a friend.
Branden and I get in line for lunch. Eventually, I go outside and talk to diego and
chelsea for a bit. They attempt to comfort me. I don't know how to feel. Angry? No.
Then I see him. I should talk to him. So I walk over there. Branden, sierra, and this
other guy are there. I ask him if I can talk to him.
Friends? I don't know. I tell him I don't like trystin. Nobody really does, he says.
I ask him if he really did like me. He says he did. did? I say, did?
He sort of still does. I'm sorry, he keeps saying. I wish he'd stop. Saying I'm sorry
means he feels sorry for me. No. I don't want pity. I want truth. I hate pity. I'm a
big girl. I don't need his pity. I tell him to stop saying that. He says he would,
but I'm crying.
Oh. He's right. When did that happen?
I wipe tears away. I'm not crying, I say.
He says, it's okay. I'm not that great a guy anyway. I suck, He says.
I laugh and shake my head quickly to stop spacing. Friends? I ask. He nods. We hug.
I take off my shoes. I dance with Bruno. I try to have fun, but...I feel strange. not
sad, not angry, mostly...Lonely.
But it's over. And honestly...We only dated for like, 4 days.
I think the main reason I was upset is because he gave me all this hope about pickle
and what not, and now that it's over, I didn't really know whether I should still be
happy, or just not feel anything.
But I've thought about it, and decided...it's better.
You see, I think part of the reason he made me so happy is because I imagined it. I
wanted him to make me that happy, so in my mind, he did.
When in reality, it was a bit akward between us. we aren't meant to be together.
We're meant to be friends.
And Dyamond. chicks over dicks, man. chicks over dicks. I loed Dyamond bunches and
He wasn't right for me. He didn't even have enough of the qualities on my fetish
list! But this situation has enlightened me.
The next guy I date, I will never, or rarely ever, have akward silences with. He will
be nerdy, but socially skilled, funny, positive, creative, nice, helpful, tall,
friendly, educated, motivated, and must have at least 7 of the qualities named on my
fetish list. and zero to .5 on my turn offs list. basically none.
And I'm going to get to know them before we date. No matter what.