Monday, 14 February 2011
10:53:40 PM (GMT)
here I am.
I don't even know what's going on anymore, honestly. I sit here and I listen to
people tell me shit and I hear it, right, but I don't. It's just information that
runs around in my brain but I'm not doing a damn thing with it. Stuff that's probably
fact, I'm ignoring because I don't want to believe it and it's just. It hurts my
head. Honestly, taking six advil a night sounds like a good habit I need to bring
back up because at least then I don't have to fucking think. I'm just tired of
thinking about all of it, about worrying about all of it.
and if he makes me spend another night crying about this shit, this shit right here
that I'm talking about not the stuff I was saying earlier, I'm done. Seriously.
Because I can't do it, not again, I'm not dealing with the sadness again. And I can't
even believe I did that, what I did, I can't believe it. I told you it was fine, and
I wanted it, and it was fine. but it wasn't fine. You should have argued with me till
I gave up, dick. It wasn't fine. But I'm going to tell you it was because I can't
help but to.
and I just want to go outside and scream, you know? I just want to go out there, and
scream till I just can't anymore. I want to sit outside, and shiver, and scream, and
cry, until I just stop thinking and feeling all of it. I'm tired of feeling all of
it. That's why the advil sounds nice.
I just can't do this. alright? I can't.
so that's it.
that's everything right now summed up in a couple of paragraphs with a pretty layout
and my raging headache getting worse by the second like what even.
fuck it, I don't know anymore.
Last edited: 14 February 2011