Friday, 8 January 2010
08:47:04 PM (GMT)
The first version didn't succed.
Anyone apart from him would've got it.
Threatens to leave.
But as I said in V1.
I don't want him to.
I really, really don't want him to.
He says it'll be best for me.
But it won't.
He wants what's "best" for me.
But if that means he leaves I don't want it.
Because as I said.
BOTH of them mean the world to me.
But Friend R can't accept that.
And if I say something to him that shows I care.
He takes it the wrong way.
Or he accuses me of lying.
And it hurts.
We all do.
But the pain and hurt comes with happiness.
All those good times we had before.
Whenever I blow my top when I talk to him.
I just remember those times and I calm down.
Sometimes I even sway him to be happy again.
All I want is for one more day when I don't have to pretend.
I don't have to string anyone along.
Nobody is causing anyone any pain.
I know I'm worthless to him.
But I just try to make the days go by so it doesn't hurt as much.
And he says that he'll do something to ease the pain.
But him leaving - again - won't heal the pain.
It'll make it worse.
But he doesn't know that.
And there's no way I can show that to him.
I just wanted him to know.
If he wants to help heal the pain, he has to stay.
And if I have to I'll start a petition.
Get all his friends to sign it.
Try to show him that he'll break more hearts by leaving than by staying.
And he can think what he wants.
[[Srsly, my eyes are stinging as I type]]
I don't care what he says.
As I said before.
He means the world to me.