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This diary entry is written by Himawari. ( View all entries )
 
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In My Time ♥.Category: (general)
Friday, 8 January 2010
08:47:04 PM (GMT)

So.
The first version didn't succed.
Misinterrpreted.
Ugh.
Anyone apart from him would've got it.

So.
Friend R.
Threatens to leave.
Frequently.
But as I said in V1.
I don't want him to.
I really, really don't want him to.
He says it'll be best for me.
For everyone.
But it won't.
He wants what's "best" for me.
But if that means he leaves I don't want it.
Because as I said.
BOTH of them mean the world to me.
But Friend R can't accept that.
And if I say something to him that shows I care.
He takes it the wrong way.
Or he accuses me of lying.
And it hurts.
He knows.
I know.
We all do.
But the pain and hurt comes with happiness.
All those good times we had before.
Whenever I blow my top when I talk to him.
I just remember those times and I calm down.
I relax.
Sometimes I even sway him to be happy again.

All I want is for one more day when I don't have to pretend.
I don't have to string anyone along.
Nobody is causing anyone any pain.
I know I'm worthless to him. 
But I just try to make the days go by so it doesn't hurt as much.
And he says that he'll do something to ease the pain.
But him leaving - again - won't heal the pain.
It'll make it worse.
But he doesn't know that.
And there's no way I can show that to him.

I just wanted him to know.
If he wants to help heal the pain, he has to stay.
And if I have to I'll start a petition.
Get all his friends to sign it.
Try to show him that he'll break more hearts by leaving than by staying.
And he can think what he wants.

[[Srsly, my eyes are stinging as I type]] 

He's staying.
I don't care what he says.
As I said before.
He means the world to me.

Comments 
‹life.moves.on› says:   8 January 2010   723840  
Is this friend R the same the same friend R as in the previous post?
._.
 
Himawari says :   9 January 2010   108718  

@phanualz 
Yeah. 
I was going to give it the same title.
But call it V2.
I decided against it.
But yeah.
 
 

 
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