You remember "This Little Piggy..."?


===


This little piggy went to market.
This little piggy stayed at home.
This little piggy had roast beef.
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy went “cough, sneeze” and the whole world’s media went
mad over the imminent destruction of the human race, and every journalist found out
that they didn’t have to do too much work if they just did “Find ‘bird’,
replace with ’swine’” on all their saved articles from a year ago, er, all the
way home.


===


...The wolf said to the 3 little pigs “Come out or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and
I’ll blow your house down”. The littlest pig replied “F*** off or I’ll sneeze
on you!”