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sometimes i'm tired :PCategory: (general)
Friday, 30 January 2009
11:58:14 PM (GMT)
You know what? Sometimes I get really tired. I want to just lay in bed and sleep for
the rest of eternity. Sometimes, I feel like there is nothing in the world for which
I should get my lazy butt out of bed. I just lay there, dreaming. I dream about
painlessness, about elation, about relaxation. They are the most pleasant dreams in
the world. I wish the whole world could be just like those dreams. I wish that
nothing bad happened... ever... to anyone. I wish that I had never contracted a
chronic disease... diabetes. I wish that I had never been mentally tortured because
of it. I wish that I hadn't been such a crybaby in fifth grade. I wish that I had
never lied about my blood sugars to my mom. I wish that my kidneys still worked
completely. I wish that I didn't have a risk of passing on this cruel disease to the
children I hope to have someday in the future. I wish I wasn't so depressing when I
feel sad. Sometimes, I just want to lay in bed and dream about sunshine filled days
with flowers and lots of hugs from people I love.

And then I remember. As I rub my bleary eyes, and I clear my throat in the morning, I
remember all the good things that I have been given. I have been given a creative
mind, so that I can tell my stories to the world. I have been given a loving family,
so that I may know how love feels. I have been given wonderful friends, so that I
must never cry without comfort. I have been given intelligence, so that I may prepare
myself for a successful career. I have been given a loving heart, so that I may bring
smiles to the faces of others as well as to my own. I have been given so many other
things, that whenever I feel tired, whenever I want to just fall asleep and never
wake up, I kick myself. I remember all of the wonderful things I've been given so
that I can make a difference in this world. No one ever makes a difference for the
better by just dreaming their lives away, and that is not something I intend to do
with my life. No matter how long or short that life may be, I will always keep
looking forward with hopeful eyes. I will always keep getting out of bed in the
morning, and smiling out my window at whatever weather, stormy or clear, is coming my
way. I will stay awake and grateful for the wonderful things in life...though I may
stop and take a nap or two along the way.

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