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This diary entry is written by Kaida_bunny. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: I love you. in category (general)

fucking greatCategory: (general)
Saturday, 6 March 2010
02:12:29 AM (GMT)
"You've never said you loved me,
Untill I was taken.
I have loved you,
For the longest time.
But all i got was a
"I still love Him.
We can wait."

Well i waited.
All of summer.
All of fall.
Then i found someone.

Then i realized.
I only wanted you because
You didnt want me.

Now you do.
And i dont.
I look at you.
And i know what im missing out on.
But i want you to get a chance.
To really fall inlove.

You dont love me.
I know.
Because i have been there.
And im done with it.
But you,
its all new to you.
You never truely fell in love.

Not with him.
Not with me.

Our friendship has been in jepardy.
Because of it.
You're not just my shoulder to cry on.
You're one of my closest friends.
And even though i cant love you,
Doesnt mean no one will.

I cut myself too.
But you know what.
Its not to take away the pain
Its to feel pain.
I forgot what pain feels like,
Because i went through so much of it.

And you know i have.
And it feels good.
I want more of it.

I love her.
I love her so much.
And i know what love feels like.
I really do.
You cant tell me what love is.
When you never really felt it yourself.

This is all lust.
Its heavy right now.
Just because im not yours.

You will fall inlove though.
And lets hope,
Hes alot better than me."

this is what she said to me
a subtle way of saying get the hell over yourself, right?
so im trying all i can to stop liking her 
it is partially lust but who the hell doesn't feel lust when there are with someone
they like?
so im not going to be in the band hall in the mornings anymore
im not going to lie for her again
im not going to save her feelings and crushing my own
im not going to sacrifice myself for you anymore.
i know she is going to say
"I never asked you to."
well duh!
you do these things without people asking you to when you really like them.
and i really like you.
you will say,
"I don't care."
well fine I wont press you about it. 
i will be there when you cry
i will be the shoulder
i  be the eyes to see you through whatever you need
i wont bend at your every whim.
i refuse to let this control my life
i like you i really do
you wont believe me
what can i do?

‹MikaPwnsYou<3!› says :   7 March 2010   393991  
Stop this "poor me" shit.
You are fucking up my mind
You know why?
Because you feel sorry for yourself,
And you want me to break up with kirstie
just to make you feel better.

You know what?
This is so fucking annoying.
This is going to end now.
Im done hearing your bullshit.
You are not Bisexual.
Stop being an attention whore.
Instead of messaging me
You put this shit as a diary post?
And you want it to be "private".

Im done with your
"you make me cry"
Because i have a life too
And it doesn't involve you or your hissy-fit drama that you call

Fuck yea im being harsh.
Because i had to deal with this for the longest time.

So if you want to be sad,
Dont think im going to be there to cheer you up.
You dont want to be my friend either?
Im fine with that too,
Saves us both the trouble

Stop trying to fit in the wrong crowd, find another one to ruin and
break apart.

The Bitch you think you love.


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