Thursday, 8 November 2007
02:29:23 AM (GMT)
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit,
and that you don't "have" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans,
etc., make up "a mess." ... and we ain't given our secrets away to no Yankees.
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Even Southern babies know that "gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white,
granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right
far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is
actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do
"lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
In the South, 'y'all' is singular....'all y'all" is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly
wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green
tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need
for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means
you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who
drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern
stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as
And last but certainly not least, for those that are NOT born Southern but have
lived here for a long, long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front
porch that reads "I ain't originally from the South, but I got here as fast as I
Bless your hearts, all y'all have a good 'un (blessed day)!