 | Saturday, 12 May 2007
10:05:06 PM (GMT) (last updated: August 29, 2009)
Get over it. If you didn't read my profile before you started talking to me, don't
blame me. That's a habit you should adopt, for one thing cause it will help you
relate to others better and you can avoid asking dumb or basic questions that the
person answers in their profile.
Most importantly, in case you haven't noticed KUPIKA IS NOT A DATING SITE!!! There
are gobs of such dating sites feel free to join them. Kupika is a site to make
friends, and personally I enjoy having friends of all ages. It helps me understand
life and learn things that I don't know. It is true, that one may use this site for
romance, but that is neither its main purpose nor the way that I use it. If I happen
to find a girlfriend or someone that wants romance with me that would be great, but I
am not actively using this site to hook up with girls ok!
Having said that, it isn't unusual for a woman to date a man twenty or so years
older. In 4, 5, 6, years many of my friends will be 19, 20, 21, etc. and I think it
is a good thing to have a long friendship where we have been communicating and
getting to know each other. That would be a nice basis for a dating relationship.
Finally, most of the time, I wait for people to write to me first before I write or
message them. Once in a while I may read something about you that makes me want to
say "Hello." If you don't care to reply or to write to me just don't. I don't have
the time or energy or desire to try and pursuade people who don't want to talk to me
that I am either interesting or (mostly) harmless or why I can be a really great
friend to them despite any age differences. I really don't. If you don't get it,
that's your short-sightedness and immaturity. As for me, I have met enough fantastic
people on here, males and females, who are cool enough to be my KupiFriend. You don't
want to be, its fine by me!
How do I have Time for Kupika?
This one is easy. I make time. My work schedule is isn't too demanding. It is true I
have been neglecting a lot of my personal projects and I am working more towards
reducing my time on Kupika and getting back to these projects including my hobby of
writing. I have been a little imbalanced lately and I need to find a better balance.
The only problem is that I have some good friends on here that I love talking to
now.
But look, I don't have homework (anymore and at least for the time being), most of
my friends are married and thus occupied. In summer when my daughter, Helliki lives
with me or the times she visits me, then she occupies me a lot more but there is
still time. So my schedule is free. I practically have the whole evening most of the
time. I do other things than Kupika. I work out, I read a lot, I catch the movies, I
go for a bike ride, I go to events, concerts, fairs, festivals, whatever, I watch
plenty of TV..I have a ton of videogames, many of which I have never even
touched...but I'm not a big gamer (just the occassional Civilization and Age of
Mythology addiction)...what do you want me to do collect stamps? Do models? Give me
a break. I would rather meet and talk with people, especially since I don't have a
great social life offline being in a lonely city like Los Angeles and having lost a
lot of my friends. Could I spend time on a site that has more adults on it? I
suppose which site do you suggest, I will check it out. (Keep in mind I am not
looking for dating sites) I am hoping that more adults will come on Kupika. It's
supposed to be a site for all ages. And eventually the core population will be
adults themselves if Kupika lasts that long.
And as for a girlfriend here in Los Angeles, its been impossible to meet anyone, Im
never good at meeting girls, well i can firt and talk to them ok, I've just never
been the kind of guy that get's their number. And also in LA, a lot of girls are
very materialistic and superficial. If you aren't extremely rich or driving a really
nice car or perfect looking they aren't interested.
So the end result is that I have some time on my hands, its not a lot and it may at
times be very little and I won't be on Kupika as much but at other times, I can
spare a bit of time, almost every day.
ON KUPIKA and why I visit here:
this has become a frequently asked question...and I've given different responses.
this is a summary of the various reasons why I like Kupika and spend time here.
A. It's a Cool Site and I Get to Meet People I Wouldnt Otherwise Get to Meet
I like Kupika because I like anime and this kind of art. I also like the unique
features of Kupika but most of all I like meeting people that I probably would not
meet otherwise. All the talent and creativity here and youthful exuberance is
stimulating to my own creativity. As far as pen-pals sites go, its one of the best,
if not the best one I have encountered.
In my life the different things I do I get to meet people of all kinds. For my
volunteer work as a member of Los Angeles Opera's Speakers Bureau I meet a certain
segment of wealthy older people that I normally wouldn't associate with. Aside from
concerts and some things like that or giving talks to them at school, I don't
normally meet or associate with teenagers, so getting to associate with them online
on Kupika (and to a lesser extent other sites like Myspace, Facebook, Bebo, etc.) is
a nice experience too.
B. I'm a Writer
One of the best things a writer can do is get acquainted with the lives of others. I
don't want to make anyone nervous, but don't be surprised if someday you read some
story I've written that has some nugget from your own experience. Additionally, it's
really good for a writer to observe the interactions of others. When I am out in
public I listen to how people actually talk to each other. On Kupika, I also pay
attention to how people talk to each other, the language and slang they use, etc.
All of this helps me to write dialogue, scenes and other such things with some
authenticity and realism.
C. I'm a Father
Despite my youthfulness, the fact is that I spent seven years in college (undergrad
and grad) and many years since working. All of my nieces and nephews are back in New
Mexico and I have little contact with them. I don't know many youths and my friends
who have children, have children who are very young like my daughter. What it all
adds up to is that I am grossly out of touch with what teens today are facing and
how things actually are. I have been SHOCKED to learn how early so many begin to be
sexually active, to drink, to smoke, use drugs, and so forth, these things simply
were not my experience growing up due to a number of reasons. Although, I think
every generation has its similarities and differences I feel it is extremely
important to learn as much about what kids and teens are facing today, to learn how
they are dealing with these issues and pressures. All of this is because I want to
have some understanding when in a very short time my own daughter begins to
experience all of these things. I am not going to be some naive dad who shuts his
eyes and ignores what is going on. I don't expect that I can help her through
everything, sometimes part of the process is doing it on your own or with your peers
help, but I want her to know that I care and that I am not completely out of touch.
Hopefully we will have the kind of relationship where she can turn to me when she
needs me. So in a way, and I am very serious about this, being on Kupika which
currently does have so many youths on it is a kind of field-work for me. When my
daughter faces issues like cutting, depression, suicide, sex, drinking, dating,
cliques, anything, I am going to now only have some insight into these
things..thanks to many of you, I am going to have friends who are not that much
older than her that have gone through and met these challenges.
D. I'm a bit Vain
What this means is that there is a little part of me that says.."you know i've lived
a little, I have some experience and education maybe if someone wants to learn
something from me, I can teach them."
E. I like to Help People
I really believe that there isn't enough love and there isn't enough upbuilding in
this world. So much of this world is negative and tearing down. I think that if you
asked my friends on here why they like me they would probably say that it's not
because I am the funniest, or the cutest, or the coolest because I'm none of those
things.
But I bet they will tell you that after talking with me for a while I make them feel
better. I cheer them up. I encourage them. I believe in them. In me someone can find
a real friend who is going to always support them, nonjudgmentally - though I may
speak my two-cents now and then. If I could spend all day (and make a living at it)
I probably would spend it going around to people in the real world just making them
laugh, encouraging them, listening to their problems, crying with them in their
sorrows, high-fiving them in their triumphs (i don't know why i am crying right now
as i write this but i am)...this world...its so full of beauty and its so full of
darkness at the same time. if I can carry a bit of that pain and negativity away
from them and help them appreciate the beauty of themselves, of their lives, of this
world...well it's like a reason to get up in the morning. This is what I do and this
is who I am in the real world. With few exceptions if you were to ask anyone that
actually knows me this, they would tell you this is how I am.....and its just the
situation that I am the same way online on the Web on Kupika.
(Of course, my closest friends also see me when I am down, depressed myself, or
having a bad day...these things easier to hide or mask Online so few people on
Kupika see those things or times.)
F. I've Found some Friends
I stumbled into Kupika thinking it was about making pen-pals and it is to an extent
(or epals or whatever). But the fact is that I probably would have left fairly
quickly were it not for all of the reasons above and more, especially were it not
for having met some truly wonderful people.
It has been amazing to meet everyone from Hina, who created this fantastic universe
not for money or personal fame or gain but with the idea that if we strip away our
outer trappings which tend to lead to prejudgment and begin to talk to each other,
just inner person to inner person, we can make the world a better place (that's the
whole idea behind the anonymity btw), to amazing girls...girls that when I was young
I would have been to intimidated to think that I could be friends with.
Sure it's online friendships and the chances are remote that I will ever meet some
of these people in person. That's not the point is it? The deal is that here and now
we can be friends and its a two-way thing. I am enriched by my friends just as much
as I hope that I am enriching them by our communication.
G. Peter-Pan Syndrome
Yes, I admit I have a touch of it. I don't ever want to grow-up. I look at my
classmates, my old friends, even my current married friends and they live rather
dull lives I think. Of course I am responsible when I have to be whether as a
lawyer, or a father, or an adult.
But being responsible all the time is for suckers. I am sorry I dont ever intend to
sell-out and join the herd who are just on some treadmill in life and trying to get
a few toys to enjoy before they die. I just want something better than that in
life.
Part of this is that I had in many ways, especially socially, a crappy upbringing.
As a Jehovah's Witness, I had a lack of social opportunity, no dating, no sex, no
partying. Even though my parents were extremely liberal with me and I was extremely
independent and I got to do a LOT of things that a regular Witness kid doesnt
usually get to do, I was still an outcast. I was on the outside with other people
and on the outside with the Witnesses, so in many ways I was always meant to feel
alone and I do feel alone in life.
Kupika isnt' a teen site but its full of teens. And on Kupika I can forget about my
age and act like I feel on the inside which much of the time is very young and free,
flirty, lively, fun, a little pervy at times......all the things that I never got to
do when I was young and some of the things I don't get to do now. It is an escape
for me where I can be who I want to be and that's what a virtual community is
supposed to be. If you met me in real life I would be some of what Im like but not
all of how I am like on Kupika because Kupika is not the real world.
It's a virtual community meant for everyone or all types of all ages of all
different notions and beliefs and behaviors and intentions of how they wish to live
out their brief lives and this existence that we all have. I think there is room for
all of us.
If you want to get to know me, the only thing I ever ask for are honesty and to
judge me based on how I treat you. If you don't want to get to know me, then you
don't have to, you can go on your blessed way with no problems at all. So you do
your thing, let me do mine, look out for your self and don't worry about what I do
or who I am. In the end, each of us has only our own life to live. Don't try to live
mine and I won't try to live yours.
.... Last edited: 30 August 2009 |
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