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This diary entry is written by Your_Worst_Nightmare. ( View all entries )
 
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Talking to a WallCategory: (general)
Sunday, 9 February 2014
10:21:24 PM (GMT)
It's so hard to try and explain or have a conversation with someone about what it is
like to be asexual.
I'm not going to lie, 98% of people I have told and talked to about it don't
understand and try to argue me on it.

I get that humans are naturally sexual beings and all, but if you have something in
your brain that just doesn't connect with your sexual organs, then what are you
supposed to do?
Nothing.
You can't do anything.
You have to live with it.

Literally though, until recently, I thought that sex was supposed to be void of
pleasure for females. I literally had no idea why girls had sex.
:I

Comments 
‹♥electrohouse♥› says:   10 February 2014   580569  
I suddenly had a thought... I know you can't cure being gay and that
stuff, because it's not a medical thing or whatever, but what if with
asexuality there is an actual disconnection between your brain and
your organs... I wonder if that's something that can be fixed with a
surgery or something. Just a thought I had. It would also probably be
really complex.
 
Your_Worst_Nightmare says:   10 February 2014   514391  
@Dont_be_a_cutter 
I don't know if surgery is even a possibility, but I've no doubt that
it really is a missed connection between your brain and your organs.
It's probably more complex than that though because while some
asexuals can experience getting turned on and everything, others don't
and literally have no interest whatsoever in sex and don't quite
understand why anyone would want it. 
 
Medication says:   11 February 2014   911555  
@Your_Worst_Nightmare 
@Dont_be_a_cutter 
Taking a surgical approach is a rather western way of thinking and I
can promise you it's most certainly not the answer. A lot of (young)
asexuals are people who have experienced bullying, feelings of extreme
loneliness, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, or have severe self-esteem
issues. These can all occur at once, it could just be one, or it could
even be something I haven't mentioned. They then experience a sense of
dissonance from sexuality, their sexual organs, and thus their
sexuality. 

This is not to say that they are any less valid as people. This is not
to say that there is anything wrong with them. I'm simply stating that
often times people, myself included, go through these things and have
a phase, or lifetime, of being asexual.

Asexuals can however also be born that way and they never experience
any type of sexual attraction or emotional attraction. These people
are much rarer than one would believe.

Many asexuals who claim to not feel sexual attraction though do feel
emotional attraction are simply people who have seen the above, or
other, misfortunes and have thus unknowingly, and possibly unwillingly
convinced themselves or assigned themselves as asexuals. 

This perspective is one that agrees with modern gender and sexuality
discourse. 
 
Medication says:   11 February 2014   710961  
I'm also terribly sorry that you previously thought sex and sexual
behaviour was painful or purely unpleasant in any way for a woman. I
can promise you this is not the case (however it can be depending on
their sexual partner) and it's only the propagation of biblical and
patriarchal behaviours and beliefs that have so wrongly convinced you
so. Sex between consenting adults, that's done right, is never purely
painful.
 
Your_Worst_Nightmare says:   11 February 2014   274880  
@Medication 
Where you got the idea that the bible and "patriarchal behaviors" as
you say would make me believe that sex is supposed to be enjoyable
only for the male, I don't know. It had nothing to do with either of
those. I got that idea from my own experience and because I couldn't
really sit down and talk to someone about how it is SUPPOSED to feel.
(That would be rather odd. o_o) 
 
Your_Worst_Nightmare says:   11 February 2014   674742  
@Medication 
My sister (who is the one who commented) may not know that, but I do.
I did alot of reading and learning before I finally decided to
identify that way.
I'm sure there are things that did indeed possibly stunt sexual
interest or whatever (since it wasn't until much later in high school
that I even started learning and doing things that others my age had
already been doing for some time), but I personally don't understand
quite a bit that others experience. :I I could actually go on and on
(since I so often have to to explain to someone who doesn't understand
what I experience) but I won't because that's most likely highly
boring to read. 
 
Medication says:   12 February 2014   821984  
@Your_Worst_Nightmare 
Traditionally these positions are carried down through the abrahamic
religions and the behaviours associated with these beliefs create a
bit of a self fulfilling prophecy and thus are propagated in today's
society without anyone really being aware of it. 
 
Your_Worst_Nightmare says:   12 February 2014   114827  
@Medication 
I wasn't raised knowing things about sex, really. Everything I learned
was literally through friends and eventually just reading sex stories
and watching porn. (I didn't know how sex actually worked until I was
a sophomore.) I was actually super curious what it would feel like. It
didn't feel like anything good to me (not bad, just nothing), so I
assumed that that was what it was supposed to feel like. 
 
Medication says:   12 February 2014   563995  
Which is a result of exactly what I just said...
 
Your_Worst_Nightmare says:   12 February 2014   998105  
@Medication 
I don't see the connection, but alright. 
 
Kennan says:   12 February 2014   625687  
who says asexuality is a broken thing to be fixed ??
and why
 
Your_Worst_Nightmare says:   12 February 2014   355761  
@Kennan 
I wish it could be. It's kind of a sore spot with me. I WANT to be
able to just be normal and have normal sexual experiences. 
 
Medication says :   12 February 2014   424308  
@Kennan 
It's not a broken thing, and it can't be fixed.
It's a way of being Kenners. 
 
 
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