Thursday, 11 August 2011
09:49:37 PM (GMT)
I accept the emotional abuse from them and some physical. But I've never been beated
up this bad before, even last year wasn't this bad. Last year I was punched 5 times.
Kicked over twenty. Tripped over twenty times. Shoved into a locker seven times.
Stabbed with a pencil twice.
I was walking up to the park today with my skateboard and was jumped (beat up) by two
girls and two guys from my class. They make my life hell. And it's Summer (no
school), I hate to imagine what it will be like when school starts again.
I just layed there while they punced, kicked, called me names, and yelled... There
wasn't much I could do. To be honest, I kind of do like the pain- in a selfish way.
It drowns out their words if I just lay there while I bleed.
I still hear them yelling some of their phrases from today over an over, "FIGHT BACK
YOU FUCKING CUTER!", "YOU PUSSY, YOU DERSERVE THIS!", "WAS IT LIKE THIS WHEN YOUR MOM
BEAT YOU!", "YOU LIKE TO BLEED EMO, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!", "JUST WAIT UNTILL SCHOOL
FREAK!", "YOU MAKE ME SICK!", "I DON"T SEE HOW YOU GOT RAPED! WHO WOULD WANT TO TOUCH
YOU?!", "ATLEAST I DIDN'T HAVE TO SEE MY DAD COMMIT SUICIDE!", "YOU DAD IS IN HELL
AND HE IS FUCKING ASHAMED OF YOU", "HOW's IT FEEL TO NOT BE WANTED BY ANYBODY?",
"WANNABE! WANNABE! WANABE!", "TAKE THIS YOU CUNT."
I am not emo. I am myself. I hate when people call me emo. I'm dead inside. There's
no more light. The punches hurt, but the words were worst. Because most of them are
true. My feet are numb and my lips are blue. There's no more me.
Bruises, open wounds, two black eyes, I'll just add more cuts to my body to even it
out. It hurts, not my body- but my mind. It tortures me. I destroy myself. There's no
open arms to catch me. So I'll fall again. Maybe this time I won't bother myself
I'm dead inside.