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This diary entry is written by that_crazy_girl. ( View all entries )
 
Previous entry: I am 14% obsessed with my look in category (general)
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You're the reasonCategory: (general)
Monday, 27 June 2011
09:03:09 PM (GMT)
Dear Mr. Blank...

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Just seeing your face, hearing, reading your name, thinking of you...It brings I
tidal wave of sorrow, despair, discouragement, helplessness. Seeing your face can
trigger such a reaction for me. Because of you I want to cry every day!
Do you know what that's like Mr. Blank? Watching everything you ever wanted pass
you by.
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IT KILLS ME EVERY DAY, YOU KNOW. 
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I know you like me (maybe even love, but I doubt it.) Having to watch you pass by is
enough by itself without feeling bad for you, seeing your despairing face. You're
believing my act of not loving you! I wish you knew. You haven't a clue how much I
wish you knew. You are the reason I die. You are the reason I cry. You are the reason
I feel all this pain; I'm put through hell everyday just seeing your face, thinking
of you, hearing people talk about you. I wanna be dead. I can't bear it. The reason I
turn my face from you every day? The reason I can't meet your eye? The reason I don't
want to be near you...but I do at the same time? The reason I never talk to you? I
can't bear it. I can't change this. I WISH I HAD NEVER MET YOU.
or at least I would never see you again...but I would probably cry about that too. I
wish it was different...and this eats me up inside. Which is an understatement. It's
literally killing me. I WANT TO DIE BECAUSE OF YOU TO END THE PAIN. that's how bad
this is. 



When you finally give up and move on...I'll still be standing there, watching your
retreating back. My eyes will well with tears. And I won't stop crying until I'm
drowning in tears. Then the next day I'll cry some more. And you will never
know.
:"( that face is an understatement. every face is an understatement. I never want to
like anyone, and i never want anyone to like me ever again. You've traumatized me.
Yes, you are the reason I will never love again. I hate you so much right now. But I
would trade that hate for love if it would have changed anything...


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