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This diary entry is written by alleygirl92. ( View all entries )
 
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Social Worker.Category: (general)
Thursday, 18 March 2010
09:34:57 PM (GMT)
My sister, talked to one today. And to my brother. He came for me. I am really scared, they won't tell me what he asked, we're going to be taken away, I feel it. I have to clean now. I'm crying, I've always been scared of social workers, just hearing the name. We're not bad people, sure, we have a rough time keeping the house spotless, but it's decent. We need help, I think I'll see if we can stay at my grandma's for a few days. It'll help calm my nerves. It ruins my long weekend, we were going to go to medicine hat to visit our cousin, and go swimming. I'm traumatized, it's probably nothing. But.. I've always been scared. Always. I can't think straight, I'm going to clean my room and cry for a little while. I'm really scared, I haven't been this scared since the police came to our door, when Trystan was supposed to have a bath, and he threw a fit, and phoned the police. They threatened to take us away. I cried for months after that. Only in private though. I really need support, I can't stop the tears this time. Or this awful feeling. I want to talk, to be held, never to be alone. I'm scared. EDIT Though, it may be nothing, I'm just really scared. There's nothing I can do. My friend Janae legally can't live with her mom anymore since she was 11yrs old. She says it was for the better, and even though she hated her mom, I see the deep pain in her eyes. I'm a chicken, scared, there's nothing I can do. I wanna die. I wanna be alone, and yet, all I want is to have a best friend comfort me. Now I'm shaking, Reyvan's asking what's wrong, and Daeman looks scared of me. I don't know what to say to them. Reyvan is only eight, she doesn't need to worry. And Daeman.. He's still a baby. I can't bare thinking about this anymore. I'm such a coward, I'm really terrified. This is horrible, I'm supposed to be the big strong figure for my siblings when my parents are gone, and now. I can't. I can't even make myself stop shaking, or crying. I just can't stand this feeling. Jayde's not worried, she siad she's happy, and wants to be away from me for forever. Trystan's not home. My dad's working. I can't do anything. I think I need to sleep now.
Last edited: 18 March 2010

Comments 
‹+ ⑨ Re + Mix + ⑨ +› says:   18 March 2010   110219  
Oh damn, Rowan. D8
I'm sure it'll be fine it's not like your father beats you. And so
your family has nothing literally to be taken away about.
You clean a lot, sure, but there's worse. And Trystan? That was just
silly. A fit over the bath and a phone to the police?
Rowan, if anything happens, realize you've got the potential to bite
back. If you don't want to leave, can they make you? Aren't they
'supposed to do the best for kids'?
But I'm largely positive all will be fine, love. c:
 
alleygirl92 says :   18 March 2010   119739  
@TROUBLE_Clef 
Thanks Erika. 
He doesn't, though I have lots of scars on my arms, because Jayde and
I used to get into arguments, and she would scratch/bite, and I picked
at scabs. And if they ask, they won't believe me, teachers don't. So
now, even in blistering heat, I wear sweaters.
I know, we do, but it's hard, there's always a mess. Right, right you
are.
I know, though, he was only like two, and we still lived in a duplex
then.
They're government officials. They have back up, and even if we do, it
could deflect on my parents, and possible jail time. I hope, dear god
I do, that if it does become serious that my uncle and grandma step
in. That way some of us will be with family. This is a bit
far-fetched, but if they don't, I'll probably be put up for adoption,
because foster homes in this area hate teenagers, they find them
problematic and moody. So, if they don't, I may be in trouble.
Oh, I really hope so. I feel so pathetic, relying on friends for
support. 
 

 
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