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This diary entry is written by FEARLESSS. ( View all entries )
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youre pathetic.Category: (general)
Thursday, 22 October 2009
05:59:37 PM (GMT)
dont read this, i promise its a waste of life.
i wrote it.
read it.
i just feel bad.
so dont read it.

i know i am.
im always fucking pathetic.
but im done with it.
im done with everything.
if i dont try to work at something ill never be let down.
im done taking chances.
im done trying.
im done impressing people.
im done trying to make you move.
ive never been so fucking close.
but you know what?
take this secret.
i never wanted to be this close if i knew it would feel this bad.
i never wouldve tried so hard.
id rather have no idea what its like to be this close, than to be so close and just
fail once again.
its all or nothing.
i gave it my all and more. but it wasnt enough.
its like i was right about it all and it just stopped.
it went down and died.
im not strong enough to take on the heat.
im not the winner in this three runner race.
im last.
i dont compete with them. 
i cant.
because ill always be dead last.
its always been the same people.
ill drop out and make it easier.
i never thought id get this close. 
when i was far down the path i hurt because i wasnt close
when i got close i was hurt because i wasnt closer
when i was closer i was hurt because i wasnt closest 
when i got the closest i could i was hurt because i wasnt good enough
theres no where else to go.
im not going to fall back behind the line.
im just going to stop.
im done.
i dont need this.
im just a bitch with problems that cant be fixed.
this is one of them.
and you dont need me.
im just a bitch with problems that cant be fixed. 
you cant fix them.
so im done.
ive lost the fight.
lost the war.
ive been outnumberd, raided, now im cornered.
its hard to fight when the fight isnt fair.
so im done.
they might be bigger but im faster and never scared.
you cant see that.
i can walk away say i dont need this.
i saw something in my eyes that said i can beat this, i thought these things could
i thought i felt it somehow.
the walls that they put up were somehow to fall down.
this revolution, i thought the time would come for me to finally win.
and id sing hallelujah.
but im done.
forget songs.
the sound of music only hurts more.
i hope i go deaf.

and i dare you to tell me i actually had a chance. and mean it.
i triple dog dare you
Last edited: 22 October 2009

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