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This diary entry is written by Kirti. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: Longer then Kupika could handle? in category The little Orphan

The last one, I promise!Category: The little Orphan
Monday, 13 July 2009
02:59:01 AM (GMT)
Okay... when I rewrote the lost ending, the rewrite was so long that that
entry got cut off as well. But this time, I save it, so haha! Take that entry length
He stared at his wrist some more. At length, he realized that in front of his eye was
a rather funny place for his wrist to be. He pushed himself up from the awkward
sprawled position he had been in. Only Mana was still in the basement, sitting on the
chair near the fire. She, of course, was not tied to the chair, though she looked far
from comfortable. This was probably due to her being alone with the chairs previous
occupant. Naono was just trying to work out whether he owed Mana an apology, or if it
was the other way around, when she saved him the trouble of starting a conversation.
Unfortunately it was not destined to be a very pleasant conversation.
       "Um... What they did was really wrong," She said, obviously contriving to look
wise and powerful. This is not something that you can easily do a convincing job of
in the presence of someone who has disliked you for both your entire lives. Naono
just stared at her, wonderfully healed legs crossed and leaning forward until the
silence got too strained for Mana and she continued.
        "No one was really sure what to do with you, other than getting rid of the
torture wounds," she said, hoping that this would get some response, thus lifting the
burden of speaking.
"Oh, I'm sure some ideas were tossed around." Naono said lightly, while looking long
and hard at Mana. I know at least one person said I should be killed- but will you
say it?
       "Takuya said that now that you could talk we should try to find out what
Shikuro is planning again. Takuya is currently cleaning out horse stalls while he
gets his priorities in order again." Mana said, then added "It's pretty much agreed
that he can never go near any prisoners of war again, and his partner says that if he
ever tries then she plans to take a hot poker and put it somewhere that'll make him
think twice before trying cruel and unusual punishment again." Mana paused to see if
Naono would respond.
       ... How do you reply to something like that? Was Mana hoping he would think
that Takuya's partner was good? Joking about torture seemed in rather poor taste...
"Ato was all for tossing you in a river before you woke up, saying that 'if you
survived then more power to you, but if not then that's just tough luck'. Ato is
probably still being told off by one of the cooks, who’s first born son drowned
when he was ten years old." 
         Mana looked at him and sighed. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to help
us?" she said without much hope.
"How'd you get mixed up in this Mana? The dark king is evil. I bet I'm not the
first on he's done this to. Forget me joining you guys, why're you here?"
        "Eichiro spent the last four years being tortured by Shikuro, and I know for
a fact that he feels horrible about doing the same to someone else."
"Oh please! Good luck convincing me that someone like him feels remorse. And
Shikuro wouldn't do that," Naono, voice filled with impoliteness and confidence.
Honestly, he was getting freaked out over what Mana planned to do with him, and her
stalling to see if he was willing to cross over to the dark side wasn't helping.
Little did Naono know that Mana was as protective of Eichiro as he was about
        "I know what happened, I saw the wounds! And as for the "dark king" not
feeling remorse, you should know that Eichiro was the only one who was willing to let
you go back to Shikuro. He said, and I quote, 'I think we've done more than enough
damage already. A man doesn't stop going down the wrong path if you shoot an arrow
into his foot, he just limps as far away from the archer as he can get. If he really
wants to get back to Shikuro, I'll loan him a horse.'" Naono's eyebrows rose; Mana
kept speaking.
       "For the most part, everyone seemed to agree that the best thing to do would
be to send you back to New York. But I'm at all inclined to go all the way back to
those caves just to force you back. So the choice is yours: you know that we're not
evil, but at the same time we've wronged you. Shikuro set you up to get tortured, but
has been mostly good to you. If the idea of helping either of us seems repulsive then
you can go back the the City. So what will you do?"
END! A fine cliff hanger, no? That and I have to "wake up" in less then four hours to
go on a trip with my family, and I figure I should go to sleep before  then.
Siigh. In the original ending I found a way to work in the "options" thing again, so
that it was obvious that Naono had to really choose something. Also the final option
was to read the actual story, not some Kirti's Mind Theater. I couldn't figure out
how to work it in again though. Siigh. Gosh that was long. I went to end it and I
doubled the length of the overall piece!
Last edited: 13 July 2009

‹< Dragon-tamer-1995 >› says:   13 July 2009   243533  
I think it's more like tripled. You cut off two diaries of it, and
this one finishes it. Actually, it's more like 2 1/2...Wait. Never
mind. Rambling.

Really good, and the cliff hanger... Hmm... I could think of a few
things that could happen.
A combination of your uber-long diary entry and a few other things has
inspired me to write! I think I'll write non-stop today!
It should be done by the time you get back from your camping and
whatnot! ^_^
Kirti says :   19 July 2009   822529  

I rambled a lot. The lost ending was much more to the point.
Siigh. I'm not eniterly sure I prefer this... Ah, well, it'll do. It
inspired you!


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