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Previous entry: Funny as hell in category (general)

More funny shit xDCategory: (general)
Saturday, 8 November 2008
09:32:04 AM (GMT)
A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I
grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take
off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the
wrong one. --Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf
female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to
be," she remorsefully replied. --Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had
died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
--Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the
patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand."
He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now
both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top
line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was
standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the
exam. --Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed
me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. Which one?" I
asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm
running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I
hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the
instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. --Dr.
Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been
bed-ridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about
twenty years -- when my husband was alive." --Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this
morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to
the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced
a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." --Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female
pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of
whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly
burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and
sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the
song you were whistling was "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener." --won't admit his

cutiie_piie_95 says:   8 November 2008   239999  
Cool entry
saralyn247 says:   8 November 2008   314697  
The last one is hilarious. xD And I LOVE the fourth one! :D
‹:Bebeka:› says:   8 November 2008   414874  
lolz thats hilarious especially the last one
‹Ambulance› says:   8 November 2008   196229  
Number 2 and the last one are the best
monza7 says:   8 November 2008   195992  
the first and the last one is the best (for me)
‹:Bebeka:› says:   8 November 2008   475329  
you should put some more
‹ÿ♥šhi♪› says :   10 November 2008   247147  
the last one was the best! lolzz


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