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This diary entry is written by ‹TheEmoWannaBeKidd›. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: suicide in category (general)

PregoCategory: (general)
Saturday, 13 April 2013
06:59:14 PM (GMT)
So about a week ago I found out I'm pregnant. Idk what to think or do, I honestly
don't want this. I'm throwing up every single fucking day. It's so misserable. I want
to die. I want it to die. My bf is confused as well. I wish I knew what he felt n
stuff but he keeps everything inside. It's so frustrating. I feel mad and depressed.
I am so not ready for this. I havnt traveled. I havnt found myself. I can't even take
care of myself. I'm so sick of life. This life is taking forever and idk how long I
can handle. I'm so sick of being sick. I'm sick of hearing complaints. I'm sick of
being so damn tired. I'm sick of it taking and sucking up my body. I'm sick of the
thought that there's a baby inside me. I might sound terrible. But I'd rather die
then have this baby . I'd rather kill myself. I'd rather get put into a coma and go
brain dead. I can't handle my emotions. I'm crying all the time. I can't handle this.
How does any women handle this? It's tourtre. Pure hell. I'm getting really
homicidal. I'm getting really suicidal. I hate life so much right now. This baby is
gunna ruin my life and my body. Idk if my bf still loves me as much as I love him.
I'm afraid he's going to leave me. I'm so damn tired of everything. The only good
thing in my life is my parents and my bf. I love him so much. I'm glad this baby is
his but I'm so done. I can't deal with this. Kill me. Kill me now. Or kill my baby.

KingdomByTheSea says :   13 April 2013   348376  
Okay. I know what to do. I gave my sister the same advice when she
found out she was pregnant.

First, get a counselor.This you are going through is called PPD, or 
Postpartum Depression. All mothers go through it, but yours is kind of
severe. get someone to talk to about it immediately before you make
any decisions regarding suicide, or filicide. This will really help.
You might even get medications. My mother had them, and they helped
her before she had me. 

Talk to an adoption agency about an closed or open adoption. That was
plans would be made before hand. If you have the baby, social services
will be waiting at the hospital to take it if you don't want it.

If you choose to have the baby, get a friend, a friends mom, or
someone other to help you. Buy things before hand. Plan out a schedule
a week before your due date so everything can be at least semi-planned
when you have the baby.
I don't recommend abortion, because it will only stress you out.
Feelings of guilt and "what if..." aren't good for you. 

Most importantly, chika...relax. Fuck people ( excuse my language)
Focus on you and the baby. Go to doctor appointments. Being pregnant,
or the one good thing about it, is DOING YOU. Relax. Eat a sandwich.
Drink a smoothie and RELAX.

I'm here if you need me, too. I have 5 sisters and all of them have
been pregnant.

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