Surgery diary 3 Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

This diary entry is written by ‹CadenCandy☢›. ( View all entries )
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Surgery diary 3Category: (general)
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
08:40:52 PM (GMT)
So nothing has really happened since my last doctors appointment for the x-rays. I wish I could say something has. No, just lots of thinking and waiting. Which suck ass. The thinking is... not always a good thing. I'm thinking about the pain I'm in, the pain I'm going to be in, who will visit me in the hospital, things that could go wrong, and just... the surgery in general. I don't want to have surgery but I know I need it. I don't want it because it's not normal to have your back cut open and RODS placed in it. I'm not scared of the surgery, really, just... I'm scared of afterwards. Not being able to do so much. Not being able to bathe alone, go to the bathroom normally, I'm going to be tired and cranky and bored and LONELY. A month away from school is going to feel like hell. I don't want this to happen. But of course, it's gonna, and I need it. So instead of thinking about all of the bad things, I'm trying to think of the good things. No gym class. After I'm healed up, my back won't hurt so much anymore and I'll look normal. I'll have more confidence after the surgery. I'll be able to join the swim team. I can wear a swimsuit without being stared at. A cool scar. Yeah. It seems like the bad outweighs the good, but in honesty, I don't think it does. I'll like feeling like I have a somewhat normal body.

‹αѕѕвυтт› says :   30 October 2012   909962  
Just remember that my friends and I will wear fluffy red turtlenecks
when it happens.


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