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This diary entry is written by ‹RyanxxxShay›. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: poetry in category poetry

My life on kupikaCategory: Life
Monday, 15 August 2011
04:35:56 PM (GMT)
Let's begin this journey almost 4 years ago. 
I was in 7th grade and I was crushing on this girl hard. 
Btw her name is Renee Lovato. In order to figure out if renee liked me I was going
talk to Demi, they are actually cousins go figure. 
And so one day I searched on the web to find where she was and walala I saw her
profile on here and wa like this is interesting.  So I made one. Eventually I lost
Renee for good when I totally fucked up and that's just a whole other story. So
my class hated me and I was crying daily and I didn't know what to do, I made
on here. And growing up very sheltered and not open to the world, well kupika
my eyes. Once I got on here everyone was chill and down to talk. I met lots of
californians and everything was sweet. Well then emos and goths come in then u get
rape victims sex addicts lesbians cutter and drugies all start to fill these halls
one by one. I didn't mind much cause I was like stay away from them and they'll stay
away from you. So not much as happened until I talk to the girl I first loved her
name is Jamie paola. We dated for a year and a half and was my 8th grade valentine.
During this relationship a lot of fucked up things were happening to me and life was
going down hill. So eventually Christmas of 2010, last day for Jamie, I broke up
her so I can finally be with Breanna. (huge fucking mistake and I still love Jamie
this day. <3). So then comes April and I find out Bree cheated not only on me but
with a couple other people to. (glad to say but I hear she is okay, or that she is
still the same. No one may know for sure). So onto the next is bre, then Wendy,
Tylynn, Kerrin, ally,Kerrin and then someone else but not sure who =P

But yea each of these girl have opened my eyes to a new form of the world
And yes I may be socially akward and have no friends where I live cause for the last
4 years I have been on here but I'm trying to regain my life back. It's extremely
hard and wish I never got myself into this. 

So to those who are on kupika and who are new my advice is to get the hell off or go
on to say hi to a couple of people then get the fuck away. 
Yea u may find that person and ur totally "in love" but dude he or she will
eventually break your heart cause they are either lying to you about everything, who
they are, they are cheating like mad, or you guys are together for awhile then you
guys break cause of the distance. It has happened way to many times with me and I'm
kinda sick of it. Hahahaha

Just to prove it to you I'll list all the girls from the last 4 years and will show
what each girl has done. 
In=we actually live in the same area and saw each other more than once
Out=only long distance

In Renee=we were best friends then I fucked it over cause I was an ass and went to a
different school then her
Out cassy=some what friends, and first long distant gf. She lives in austialia and
told me she got raped constantly
Out Jamie=best friends got along great, lives in San Diego and we tried meeting up
but never did. I broke cause I didn't want an online relationship but wanted to text
her, plus my real life was down hill
Out Bree= well she was actually the only girl who I cared for with all my heart,
after four months of dating I find out she lied about everything
In Ashley=trying to get with her while dating Bree, cause I had my supscion. But
turns out she was dating couple guys to so no thank you. (got me into sexting)
In vylett= tried getting with her but liked her friend to much and she always seemed
nervous around me. While dating bree
In Nicole=start liking her while dating bree but didn't do anything but tried to
plans and she helped me a lot! 
Out Bre= she helped me after bree, we laughed and could talk all the time but dumped
her cause she would never text me and go for days with no text. Still like her but
she doesn't answer my texts anymore
Out Wendy= omg I squealed every time I got a text from her. One of my friends from
the very beginning. I dumped her cause she wouldn't tell me what was happening and
didn't text me for a whole week. 
Out cierra= I like/love her a lot but we are across the country and I feel she won't
wait for me. 
out Kerrin= we broke up so many times cause she has problems. First time we broke
cause her mom told her too. Then we got back cause her cuddle buddy tried fucking
her, then she broke cause we didn't have the same way of thinking. Then got back
cause her gf was a jack ass. Then we wanted to be exclusive cause she wanted to be
single then she gets with a guy and says let me just cuddle and be with him until
get me. Ummm yea no!!! Fuck you Kerrin. She is a attention whore. Im sorry but I up
his dick his big enough to make you happy your whole fucking life. 
Out Tylynn= I really like her but we never text each other and I'm not sure if we
even still together. But I'm not sure
out Elixabeth= she is a cool chick who I like but not sure if anything will ever
Out ally= omg was good friends, but she gets attach to easily and we had so many
problems and I love her but we don't need each other
Out Becca= me and her like each other but she hurt me a lot cause we flirted a
but then she says btw I like someone else too. I mean really?
In Alexandra=just doesn't text me anymore
In Jenna= same thing as before
In Victoria= we are talking a lil bit she likes me alot not sure if I like her

So yea most of this dating and like happened since April to now. And all of this was
drama and a huge waste of time cause I didn't meet any of these people and yet I
loves them with all my heart. I mean I'm 17 and I suck at life. I should be living
up and have a girl around my arms but no, I have no body. So for those who have
thoughts that like should I be here then get the hell away while you still can. I
mean I'll come on here to talk with my friends you know but I'm giving up on long
distant relationship unless they live in California. And I'll only take a few girls
back if we deciede to try again
They are
These girls all helped me alot and most live in the same state. So I'm going to try
and make my life a new and yea. But this is a shout out to Jamie Paola. I still love
you and hope we can meet up sometime soon. It'll make me the happiest guy in the
world. Btw I was just in SD to =P
Last edited: 16 August 2011

‹☮'TisALizz☮› says:   15 August 2011   864450  
I'm gonna say one thing that has been bugging the shit out of me for
the past hour. I care 'bout you and I ain't goin NO WHERE with NO ONE
until the day you finally tell me to fuck off. Believe me if you want,
but I'm sticking to my word. Now, with that said i'm done being
dramatic. =)
‹RyanxxxShay› says:   15 August 2011   760609  
Haha thanks =P
Sorry Lizz hahaha btw how are you?
Fuck off haha jk
‹☮'TisALizz☮› says:   15 August 2011   638567  
Alright, practically dieing from boredom right now. Yourself?
Oh so now you tell me to fuck off after It took me almost twenty
minutes forcing myself to post that. haha do it again and i'll
personally fly myself to cali and kick your ass haha jk...i might be
stuck there, but i got the money to get there. xD
‹RyanxxxShay› says:   15 August 2011   886328  
It took u twenty mins to write that?
It took me 10 to write this diary =P
And true true
‹☮'TisALizz☮› says:   15 August 2011   379994  
No it only took me like two minutes  to write it, but it took me 20
to decide if i wanted to post it or not.
‹RyanxxxShay› says:   15 August 2011   724082  
Oh wow hahaha xD
‹☮'TisALizz☮› says:   15 August 2011   402260  
Yea, I've gone soft. Haha 
‹✜Garry-Ib✜› says:   16 August 2011   657159  
‹RyanxxxShay› says:   16 August 2011   624073  
@roots Rock 
uh what do yu mean? 
‹Legendary Catwoman› says:   16 August 2011   391315  
WOW!!!! I laughed about how honest you are. That is a big mess what
you have been to but you are a great guy and you will get the right
girl at the right moment.   
Look at me I'm taking it easy cause I have been to a lot so so I don't
have any hurry with love 
‹RyanxxxShay› says:   16 August 2011   375570  
I know. And yet I just miss being held and having a connection with
the girl. You know?
And I hate the fact when I try to get a girl another guy has already
fucked her over. So yea you know?
‹Legendary Catwoman› says:   2 September 2011   239662  
Yeah and same here. Not many boys are clean as no many girls are. I
keep hopping 
‹RyanxxxShay› says:   3 September 2011   479380  
it sucks XXXDDD and oh u just go for girl to guy?
‹Legendary Catwoman› says:   16 September 2011   408918  
What do you mean? O.O
‹RyanxxxShay› says :   16 September 2011   223635  
it was a joke..

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