Wednesday, 2 March 2011
02:46:14 AM (GMT)
OOC: wth. wut is this i don't even...
I've been here all night and all day. 1 a.m. to 8 p.m.; no sleep at all, but I've
been sitting her on the bed the entire spot.
I've been thinking about something. I gave it a long time by now, but I'm still at
... My, my side bangs must be a mess now, I shouldn't have been playing with the
Something's been bothering me though, too much for me to worry about that. I've been
staring at grey walls, grey bad, light grey flooring, and even my greyscaled
clothing. I can't help but wonder why it bothers me so much now. That clock by the
bed is so annoying too - it has the same monotone sound, tedious and so
simple-minded, it's so irritating.
But it helps my mind keep in beat.
I've been thinking about something. I can't help but feel like Dexion had been
right. That what he says was true, but now that I go through the ideals my Somebody
has gone through, I'm not sure how I can change this. Emotions? I don't know how to
define those words - nothing other than a 'nuiscanse', really. Or, so I did think. I
mulled it over and decided those were stupid, now it bothers me - so what's this? I
feel bothered? Is that an emotion? Well, I'm kind of tired of this.
No sleep at all.
I'm just like the clock by this bed - tedious. It only has two sounds. Tick and
tock. I only have two ideals; trick and hide. Two emotions; hate and carelessness.
Moments ago I cursed at the clock and told it to get over itself, telling it to sing
a new beat or something useful - I'm wondering if I was yelling to myself though? The
clock can't help it though. I don't know how to fix it, other than breaking it.
But Dexion was right.
I'm tired of this too. I feel like I'm choking, and I can only suspect it's my lack
But another thing really worries me - those emotions I'd 'gotten' rid of a while a
go. Were they still there if all else was? I felt upset for a bit when Frixie and
Dexion kept getting closer and closer, the only thing that seemed to hold something
back was that hrash voice, taunting and trying to destroy them both. How disgusting
I feel like a sore loser.
Being a king isn't fun at all.
The same expression is stupid too. This personality of mine makes me grimace too.
I'm getting tired of arguing and snapping, and being full of witty remarks. I'm tired
of saying 'go away' and 'leave me alone' when, really, I want to stay with people. I
don't like saying I'd be better off without them when it's not true even. Thanks to
this persistent nature of mine, I've lost a lot of my chances. So what happened to
those feelings I had for both Frixie and Dexion? That's what bothers me.
They're useless anyways though --------
"Argh," Xilatz threw the scissors on the bed and reached up, ruffling his hair
viciously and making a sound of exasperation. His hands came back down and his green
eyes fell to the floor before him, blinking as he took soon notice to his side bangs
and gave himself a weak laugh. "Bad idea," He stated as he pinched it between his
So what now? The small Romanian stood up and stretched, noticing the greys of
his clothing again, then laid in silence, upset with this it would seem.
But now to fix something...
Passing out the door and down the hallway, there was that since of determination -
It's probably still not there - he reminded himself, not going to let himself
be tricked in any way - but it's still worth something, right? To the grey
room was where he arrived at, and just the two people he wanted to see were on the
couch, smiling and laughing which had been found sickening to him. He slid that back,
knowing something wasn't right about that and smiled, stepping forward. "Good
evening, Frix, Dex-Dulce."
Frixie looked up and smiled, a bit surprised, but gave him a welcoming wave, "Hey,
Xilatz! 'Aven't seen you foreeeveeeeer!"
It's not that annoying,
Dexion raised a brow, conemplating something, knowing better. "What's the matter?"
He asked, expecting something to have gone wrong and required some kind of help. That
or the Romanian had just decided that he'd come by and try to ruin something.
Xilatz cocked his head a bit. "Nothing, Dex-dulce, can't I say hello?" He asked
before he moved on over and sat down on the floor before them both, legs crossed and
his hands in his lap, yet still smiling.
The ginger's eyes narrowed a bit, trying to figure something out. Frixie looked over
and seemed to have noticed too, but smiled like a bafoon as persay usual. "Watcha'
"Something... doesn't add up."
Is it that obvious?
"Whaddya' mean something doesn't add up?~ Just friends hanging out now.~ See? Now
we're only missing Xeirox! She's probably with Luxord somewhere though! I wonder what
they're doing? Where they're at? Maybe the went to Twilight town to go shopping and
look fo---" Frixie's voice continued on and on.
Dexion's eyes just stayed forward and within not even a second, both Xilatz and him
were staring at each other, expectingly. Xilatz kept at his best to keep smiling, but
it was getting really awkward with the other almost keeping it from happening.
"What's bothering you?" Xilatz asked, struggling to not be freaked out. Frixie's
voice stopped too, noticing something off as well it would seem - finally,
after what felt like hours of talking, feeling the atmosphere.
"Xilatz," Dexion began, putting his elbows on his knees and moving in closer,
analyzing almost. "Are you sick?"
Upon the words, Frixie 's mouth went into an 'o' shape before he smiled and, almost
as if it were planned out, slammed the palm of his head against the boy on the
ground's forehead, causing him to let out a slight and disapproving whine, but didn't
really react back. "Feels fine!" Then his hand retracted back to him. Dexion gave him
a baffled look, trying to tell him that wasn't really necessary but the nulcear boy
didn't get the message at all and merely looked around so happy.
There was no words of trying to shove someone down in this room now. No yelling or
no upset voice at all. In fact, after the 'attack', Xilatz still smiled, and
eventually crawled onto the couch next to Dexion, swinging his legs over the arm of
the chair and actually leaning against the ginger, who was expecting at any moment to
hear that this were a joke, then get socked in the stomach for being an idiot. But
Xilatz just leaned against his upper arm, smiling and closing his eyes, feeling
comfortable as Frixie's voice once more rang out happily, telling the most randomest
Though Xilatz was out of it and Dexion was listening to these stories, humoring the
other beside him, they shared words still yet.
"What happened to you?"
"Nothing, I was just never good at playing games."
"What do you mean by 'games'?"
"Charades was something I failed miserably at."
Those were the last of the words until the sleepless night had caught back up to the
boy, and he'd fallen into slumber right there.
It was an odd thing, but he wasn't choking anymore. It felt like there were warmth
in his stomach and butterflies flying around in there just for that reason too - as
he fell asleep to the sound of Frixie's blissful voice telling those stories, and the
soft feeling and hearings of laughter. And for the longest time in that short nap
before he'd been woken up by the other two, leading him back to bed too, it seemed
possible. That, just maybe, those emotions had survived.