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This diary entry is written by ‹Imperfected Kayyla;›. ( View all entries )
 
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I'm sorry for it all... =/Category: (general)
Friday, 17 September 2010
05:38:15 PM (GMT)
Filled with rage all inside; it’s locked inside. Hoping you can’t see right
through me just like that. I don’t know what happened between us, I don’t know
what I did to you, dear… If I’ve changed on you, I’m sorry… You make me
wonder so many silly thoughts… One gets to me the most, and maybe I’m over
thinking this WAY too much, but you talk about her so horribly to me, calling me your
‘best friend’, and all this and that. But you’re just honestly two-faced. Do
you do that with me too? Talk shit on me, calling her your best friend? Yeah, well
guess what, since you had that dumb fat bitch fucking message me, POINTLESSLY, I told
her about how you talk shit on her. I’m sick and tired of you being a fake. Dude I
cared, I thought we were cool. 
Tell fat ass to leave me the fuck alone and get a life besides message back. You two
are ridiculous. 
Two friends, gone, within a month… Yeah I’m losing everyone… I’m sorry If I
have changed on the ones who are still my friends… Get a hold of me, let’s make
plans… I’m sick and tired of crying, I keep crying… I can’t help it… 
You guys have so much control over my emotions, ha… You’re like boys… If you
wanted, you could ruin me into the tiniest pieces.  I’m glad I don’t see you two
anymore… 
I don’t understand why I can’t have an okay friendship. Something always happens.
FUCK, I’m turning into my mother. How many friends does she have, one that I can
think of? It’s so fucking god damn ridiculous. I can’t think straight, I’m
blacking out slowly. Losing all control of breathing; I want to puke… It won’t
help though. “If they’re really that important, they’ll come back.” Just
repeat it… Keep telling yourself that… But I am still gasping for air, shocked of
it all… What did I do to you both?! Shaking with a bit of an adrenaline rush,
holding back all the real tears, jittery as can be… I can’t take this anymore.
But all I can do is sit here; watch it all go right past me… listen to all those
sad songs. Forgive me, everyone, as I am doing nothing about this to fix our
friendship. I told myself I’m done with you guys, no matter how much it hurts…
Yeah, I think about this all 24/7… Why don’t I try and fix it, well… I’m not
going through the pain. Nope. I won’t. 
Number 1- you let her say that about me… You knew DAMN WELL who she was talking
about! You’re always with her; you never make time for anyone else. Everyone says
it. 
Number 2- You’re a two-faced fucking dumb bitch! That is all. 
I’ll miss you both; I do miss you both… I’m tired of what goes on through the
‘friendship’. 
I hope you’ll both realize how much I care for guys, how much you guys meant to me.
Even if you don’t come back, I’ll never forget you… 
I’m sorry for everything I must have done to you guys to get this karma get thrown
at me. I’m so sorry. 
I love you both. </3

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