Monday, 7 June 2010
09:37:56 PM (GMT)
Pretty much just was going on through my head fifth period.
It's fifth period. Last day in this class. It's pretty deppresing. It's really quiet,
so I keep thinking. Way too much. I hate when everything's quiet, my mind goes in ten
million directions. It really sucks. I usually think about sad things, too. Over
think them. So much that I'm sitting in class, stopping myself from crying. And I
can't just talk about it in class. And once I do talk about it, it doesn't sound
right. It's always the same things too. Josh and Robert. Of fucking course it's about
guys, right? I keep thinking about how I hurt Josh, him still hating me, the stupid
reasons. Then I think about Rob hurting me. Ughhh fml. My ear really hurts. But
that's off topic. I really should not have a boyfriend for a while, but who knows how
that'll work. I shouldn't like Jonah, I should not like Jonah. I don't. I don't. I
Fuck, I do.
Grrr! He's too far away! Georgia wasn't that bad. Neither was Indiana. But
Arizona/California? (I don't even know where he actually lives, haha.) Still, they're
There's always Skyler (Skylar?) But he has a girlfriend and I haven't even talked to
him yet. So I'll keep him in the back of my mind. Fuckin' Ryen. He'll never get
anything from me, that's for sure. I'm crazy bored in this class. Nothing to do but
pour my heart out on this paper, haha. I'd really start writing, but I don't want to
start crying, so I'll save it for home. Sorry if I get tear stains on you. Jesus
Christ I sound emo. Oh well. Might as well get it out.
Damn I hate those ugly ass boat shoes. And Vera Ugly. Infesting the school, I swear.
I'm so tired of the catty preps. Especially one that's not even a chick. I'll call
him Parker. (Even though I love that name.) Parker's a Hollister Bro. And he gets
pissed if you call him a prep. I fucking hate the kid. This weekend, my friend was
talking to him on the phone, and I said something jokingly. He called me a cunt. Then
a scene fuck. Then said "No wonder John dumped you and Rob cheated on your ass." Are
you fucking kidding me? He has no fucking clue what happened in either of those
relationships, yet acts like he fucking does.
I hate him. A lot.
I hate all people really. Yet I'm a big people person. I'm a walking contradiction,
hah. My friends, they're fish, so I'm pretty sure that's why I love them. Owowowow.
Oh 2s, why must you hurt so randomly? My nails made it through one day, that's good.
I appreciate what Karen did, but we're not magically best friends again. That's not
how things work. And the entire time I was telling her how I felt about her, she
tried making me feel bad. Can you believe that?
I can, actually.