Monday, 11 January 2010
05:43:35 PM (GMT)
IF YOU HAVE A FACEBOOK/TWITTER ACCOUNT, LOOK UP SHITMYDADSAYS.
IT IS THE GREATEST THING EVER.
OH MY GOD.
It's pretty much this guy who lives with his 73 year old father, and he posts funny
things he says.
I'm convinved this man is the modern-day Plato or something.
"Universe is 14 billion years old. Seems silly to celebrate one year. Be like having
a fucking parade every time i take a piss."
“Yes I got him a gift. He had a kidney stone. You piss a rock through your pecker,
you deserve more than just a pat on the fucking back."
"You can watch the house while I'm gone. Just don't call me unless something's on
fire, and don't screw in my bed."
"I like See's candy. Put me in a See's store, I'm eating candy. The whole world is
Tiger's See's store, and the candy is vagina."
"It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing.
God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works."
"You worry too much. Eat some bacon... What? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel
better, I just made too much bacon."
"I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind
"Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize
until later that it's because it fucked you."
This definitely made my day.