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This diary entry is written by Kirti. ( View all entries )
 
Previous entry: Kirti's Mind Theater in category The little Orphan
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Kirti's Mind TheaterCategory: The little Orphan
Sunday, 1 March 2009
05:46:03 PM (GMT)
Even though this'll be the sixth Kirti's Mind Theater open to the public (their are
others, but all of them not about the Little Orphan are set to privet) there are few
that I really thought could happen. That's how I wrote the first one- I was day
dreaming in bed and half asleep but couldn't quite fall asleep because I had this
idea that I wanted to write down because it seemed the most likely outcome to me if
the story kept in the direction it was going. Last night I wrote a new one because I
got an idea for it while staring off into space. I wrote as a personal epilogue for
after the story ended, like "what would happen once Eichiro was back in power if they
choose to leave Shikuro alive?". Due to my fangirlness for Naono I couldn't resist
focusing a paragraph or to on him. Heehee... But I was shocked when editing it to
find that I'd actually worked in an idea from the first Kirti's Mind Theater. I
strongly considered getting rid of that part while editing because it makes it feel
alot more like fanfiction then a prediction, but choose to leave it in. I really had
fun writing about Eichiro and Shikuro just have a conversation though- I added stuff
to make it seem as if Eichiro was suffering from PDSD (Post Dramatic Stress
Disorder), and for once I let the villian just be evil. I never do that you see, I
find it rather hard to imagine that people are just cruel for the heck of it. Writing
dialouge for someone whom is (so the real author insists) just evil was facinating,
though I confess to writing in something toward the end to let the reader see it from
his point of view. But the real point of this icredibly long introduction was
actually to say that I went to bed thinking about how that was the best Kirti's Mind
Theater I had done in awhile and ended up having another fangirl based half-dream
about what Naono was doing while Shikuro was being interregated. Because six is going
to be (I haven't written it down yet) a continuation of five, I'm afraid it too will
be based off of one as well.

And finally- charactors, plot, setting ect property of the genius author
Miss_RolePlay1995, so go read the real story. Presenting Kirti's Mind Theater
6! Role it!

          Naono sat sat on an uncomfortable stool in the corner of a darkend room,
his knees hanging limply over the edge of the seat. Mana had been sure that he got
one of the more comfortable of the holding chambers, but Naono neglacted all
furniture but the worst chair he could find, hoping that the pain in caused him to
sit still on it would ease his guilt. They could have beaten him, thrown him in a
dirty cell, or denied him food. Their forgivness was the worst punishment of all. For
the first time Naono was left without his anger. The flame of passion that had kept
him going all these years was put out, and he was left with nothing.
              Naono hugged his knees to his chest, then released them. He didn't
deserve hugs. That's why he hadn't been adopted. That's why his parents gave him up.
Something about him must have told all who saw him "this one is worthless. He is
greedy and bitter, and can acheive nothing.". Mel and Hellen hadn't been going to
adopt him if he brought Mana back at all. Naono could see that now. The anger that
had supplied his strength had been his weakness, and they took advantage of him with
it. And Shikuro had done the same.
              Naono surpressed the tears he knew he didn't deserve and rubbed at his
cheek where Shikuro had slapped him. How could he do that? How could he have wanted
to kill me...? I thought he was going to be my father. When I did something well he
would put his arm around my shoulders and tell me how proud he was. When there was
fighting he stepped in front of me and tell me to sheild my eyes. If he protected me
how could he have wanted to have me killed? Shikuro had hinted that once the kingdom
was his he might allow for his aging to begin again, because a ruler who ruled
forever would worry the citizens. He had hinted that when he began to age Naono would
be trained as his succesor. Had he thought that this would make Naono happy only
because it meant he would get power, or did he know that he was promising Naono what
he'd always wanted?
            He knew. He must have known. Naono struggled against his own rebelling
heart, trying to think that Shikuro hadn't meant any of it. he wanted to kill
me Naono thought. He wanted me killed, and killed in front of those I
disliked.  But it was useless. Naono had loved Shikuro in a way that he hadn't
loved Mel. Mel had given him hope of having a father after years of being there as
Naono was denied a family again and again and again. Shikuro had just seen him, seen
that he was alone, and afraid, hurt and angry without a hope of doing anything about
it. Shikuro had seen him and he understood, and he took Naono in without
knowing him. It might take years before Naono could convince hisself that it had all
been meaningless for Shikuro. At best Shikuro had been supplying the hope Naono
needed so that he would have something to work for, a motive. At best he didn't know
that Naono had felt that way to start with, and feeling someone elses affection and
pride and... And love had served only to shrink that anger which he'd always
held so close to his heart.
         Prehaps, deep in his mind, he had begun to pity Mana and the others. She had
turned down a family and wasn't getting another chance, where as he, Naono had a
father. Prehaps this feeling of pity had caused the moment of mercy that had broken
him, and saved him. When those others came in to resque Mana they had seen him with
them, about to be killed. Mercy... Was it a true mercy that they had done in saving
him, when Naono half wished that he could have died, or stayed where Shikuro was to
be captured as Shikuro most loyal "assistant"?
          Naono forced these thoughts upon himself and waited, hoping that he could
once again be angry at Mana. But Naono couldn't even be angry at himself. He was a
worthless empty shell. He didn't have the icy heart that villians were meant to have,
and he didn't have his own rage. And at the heart of his rage had always been a tiny
spark of hope- that was gone too. If only he could have something, something other
then the lump in his throat! Those tears he wouldn't shed ate at him, hollowing him
further.
        Mercy... But as he sat there, trying not to think, a tear slide down his
cheek. A tear not for himself, but for those Shikuro had killed while Naono hid
behind him covering his eyes. And there were more tears, tears for the screams of
greif he had heard as the flew away from a town, as relatives discoverd who they had
lost. The tears came and came, for the looks of hopelessness he saw before he shut
his eyes, tears for the soldiers that had come to Shikuro for they had no hope of
doing anything else, tears for the children who had lost their parents in the
fighting, tears for Mana and Eichiro and all they had been forced to go through, and
then, finally when he was crying so hard that he couldn't stop it, only muffle it
with his hand, there were tears for himself.
        Naono straightend. If after all he had  done, not done, and planned to do
there was still mercy in the world for him, and still pity even if it came from
himself then there was hope. Maybe he would be allowed to stay in this world, and
could help rebuild houses or something of the sort. He knew that what Eichiro needed
more was people willing to get rid of bandits and escaped soldiers from Shikuros
army, but couldn't do it. He had always  hated fighting, especially if it could end
in killing. No he would do something with his hands. Prehaps he could try
rebuilding peoples houses. By night so that no one knew it was him. He didn't like to
think about what would happen if his punishment was returning to New York. Maybe he'd
move to New Orleans and help the Katrina victims, but in his old world Naono would
have to wait until he was eighteen to leave, to help. Naono imagined five years of
having the guilt build up because he wasn't helping. He imagined, with a rush of
fear, feeling jealous that Mana had gotten to stay. Naono had cried, and something in
him had changed when he did. He didn't want his flame to come back.
      He would beg them then. If it came down to it, he would get on hands and knees
and beg for lenience he didn't deserve, and for the chance to stay. And with a
half-formed plan for his future in mind, releif swepted through him and he fell
asleep, on that uncomfortable stool.
       When Mana came to check on him and bring him some food she saw that he had
pushed all the furniture but a stoll to one side of the room, and had placed the
lanterns she'd given him by the door. He was asleep on that stool, with a curiously
clean face- his chin and forhead were coated in dust and grime, but his cheeks were
clean, revealing a shockingly purple bruise on his left cheek. She quietly set down
the tray of food near the door and turned one of the lanterns on as low as it could
go. As she turned to leave she noticed one last thing, something that seemed
strangely important, though she couldn't quite say why. Naono slept on the stoll in
the corner, head rested on the two walls behind him...
      And he was hugging his knees.
Last edited: 1 March 2009

Comments 
‹< Dragon-tamer-1995 >› says:   1 March 2009   847129  
Wow. :D
I don't think I could've written it better myself. (And, knowing you
and your fangirlness of Naono, I don't think you could do better then
this either!)
Good job on this one. 
 
Kirti says:   1 March 2009   412795  
thanks! I'm sure you could do better though.
 
callie11 says:   1 March 2009   969273  
Wow, that's really good. I really like how you got into his head.
Really makes me think about what's going on in there.

Isn't it really PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)? But still, it
was AWESOME!
 
Kirti says :   1 March 2009   411976  
thanks Callie.
 

 
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