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This diary entry is written by ‹Hallow Bane›. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: Despised Dependence in category Unleashed

LeaveCategory: Unleashed
Friday, 9 January 2015
05:35:58 AM (GMT)
I cannot act - I can't convince. 
I'd never make it as an actress.
But I am a liar, smooth and clear. 
I can act a little, to hide my fear.
I've done so well at acting the part - 
I've even fooled my own heart.

You know I'm a liar, that much you see.
But not who I am; you don't see me.
You don't care why I lie, you jump to conclusions.
I can't seem to care, I'm too far disillusioned.
I have very little faith in a genuine love.
I'll die all alone if push comes to shove.

I push people away, on instinct alone.
Their true colors - I don't want to see them shown.
Or risk them seeing mine, and leaving me then.
They all leave, it's simply a matter of when.
She left. She took them all with her as well.
I love her truly, but damn her to Hell.

I hate her, I wish she would fall off a cliff.
Liar. I love her, the stupid fucking bitch.
I hate her, more than I could ever convey.
But love her unconditionally whatever I say.
One day thoughts of her will drive me insane.
Do you think I would still comprehend all the pain?

I drown the memories, burying them deep.
I smother myself when I break down and weep.
My chest tightens up and I can hardly breathe.
And I chant to myself that they all will leave.
Just like you, I promise you will.
If not, well - maybe I will.
Last edited: 9 January 2015

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