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This diary entry is written by ‹‹boo yaaa mann :3 :)››. ( View all entries )
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The Taken (my book)Category: (general)
Friday, 12 July 2013
08:57:21 PM (GMT)
Please be honest and tell me what you think of my book so far i have been working on
it for a while 
 “Oh no, I can’t be late for the first day of school” Violet rushed out of bed
throwing her purple blanket out from over her. She ran to the bathroom quickly
grabbing her toothbrush, fiercely brushing her teeth while fixing her hair as she
looked in the mirror. Her black hair was curly and long and flowing to her waist. Her
skin was not to pale but not too tan, and her eyes glowed violet. She lived in a
little town called Auburn Hills, Michigan.  Her past was not really the greatest one.
Her parents had died in a fire when she was just five years old. She immediately got
was placed a foster home because she had no other family other than her sister. She
didn’t want to take her in, saying that she didn’t have enough money to raise
her. So she got put in the orphanage for 3 years before getting adopted. Her new
parents were, Mr. Luis and Heather Evergrass. They loved her like she was their own.
They had always kept her safe, knowing there was something special about her. 
 “Oh nooo it’s almost eight a clock! School will start soon,” said Violet in a
panic. She ran to her bedroom, grabbing her backpack forgetting she was still in her
pajamas and darted out the door hopping into her mom’s 2010 mustang as her mom
started to drive off. Luckily her school, Black Knights High School, was just down
the block so she didn’t have far to go. Her mom gave a quick look at Violet holding
back a laugh while driving to school. “What’s so funny?” Violet said looking
“Oh nothing dear just thought of something funny” said Violets mom letting a
little laugh come out. They got to her school and Violet jetted out of her car
telling her mom that she loved her, and ran up the school steps to meet her friend
Rose. Rose was laughing before she even got up the first steps of the school.
“What’s so funny,” Violet started the get red as she noticed she was still in
her pink hello kitty pajamas. “I don’t even think they allow that here Violet”
Rose was laughing and giggling as they walked down the hall. “Oh my Gosh, I
didn’t know I hadn’t changed, my stupid alarm clock didn’t go off.” 
“Did you even remember to turn it on?” asked Rose opening her locker quickly
tossing her backpack in and grabbing her algebra book “I may have forgotten to do
that”. They both reached into their binders pulling out there schedule both of them
had the same schedule exactly. They always did ever since she could remember; she had
been friends with Rose. Ever since Violet moved to, Jr. Knights Middle School, they
had been really good friends. No matter what happened Rose was always beside her like
they were connected in some way.
 The warning bell had rung telling them they had 4 minutes tell class started. Violet
grabbed her bag and tossed it inside her locker, taking out her laptop. Her face
reddened, she was embarrassed to be at school in her pajamas. “Maybe I should go to
the office and ask if I could go home to change. I don’t want to start the school
year off badly”. 
The intercom clicked on before Rose could say anything back and a bold man’s voice
came out of the speaker. “Welcome everyone to your first day of high school at Dark
Knights High School. My name is Mr. James Michel and I am your principle. I hope this
year you learn a lot of new things and have fun we have all kinds of dances and
activity’s that you can do. Just ask your councilor or home room teacher about what
we have available for you. I would like all the freshmen to come to that gym so we
can fully introduce you to our school. Thank you and I hope everyone has a great
school year at Dark Knights high school”.  
Violet and Rose let out a sigh and grabbed their stuff and walked toward the gym.
“Well at least we get to get out of class for a little so I guess that’s an up”
Rose sighed.
  “I really think sitting through class will be better than this.” Violet let out
a giggle and looked down at her clothes again. “Hopefully he won’t notice what I
am wearing. I really wish I had turned on my alarm clock” said Violet as they
walked off into the gym.
 Lucky the time passed by quickly her first to classes flew by some people still
giggled at her pajamas but she just ignored them now seeing that she wasn’t the
only one that forgot to changed. 
 She sat down with Rose and sat her lunch bag on the table. Rose looked at the bag a
laughed “what is that? It looks like throw up in a bag” Rose pointed to a trash
can “that’s where that should go” Rose laughing hard as she walked away toward
the lunch line.
 “At least I won’t get diseased by the food you call school lunch” said Violet
rolling her eyes smiling. School lunch grossed her out to much she tried eating
school lunch one day but in the end it didn’t end very well so she just stuck with
the classic PB & J with some chips and a bottle of milk with a little brownie for a
sweet treat. Violet started to eat and glanced up. Her heart almost stopped when she
saw Sarah Blackford, Vanessa Banfield, and the leader Ruby West. They were the rich
popular group not caring who they crush to get to where they want. Sarah and Vanessa
didn’t really do much they just laughed and was ruby's audience and slaves. They
did what she wanted whenever she wanted it was weird like mind control. Violet tried
to get up but before she could even move she was surrounded and shoved back down.
“Mhh look who it is girls, Ms. Trashy, I see you still can’t afford any clothes
wearing pajamas to school” Ruby laughed picked at her clothes ripping them a little
Sarah and Vanessa sat there smiling watching her destroy her clothes. Normally Rose
was there to help her because Violet didn’t like being violent at all she was a
straight A student and none trouble maker and she planned to keep it that way. “And
hello kitty how old are you 5” said Ruby as the other girls laughed and just stared
at her with a nasty stare. “Will you please go I am trying to eat my lunch in
peace” Violet looked down her eyes tearing up as they made fun of her there words
cutting her like daggers. She tried to hold back the tears as much as she could.
“Awww look she’s going to crying mhh how sad” said Ruby laughing even harder
giving her a devilish look rubbing mocking a tear with her finger.
 “Hey, leave her alone before I shove my fist into your face!” said Rose running
over to Violet, shoving them away from her getting right into Ruby's face. “If you
don’t get out of here now I will show you how it feels to be buried alive. Ruby let
out a big puff of air and turned around “let’s go girls they are not even worth
our time” said Ruby walking away flipping her hair back walking over to her
boyfriend or whoever was named her boyfriend today. She was more on the slutty type
on the charts. Rose hugged violet trying to get her to stop crying “Aww come on
Violet you know those girls are just a bunch of stupid girls they don’t even know
how to count to two” said rose as she put to fingers out and making herself look
confused then yelled “three, three, there’s three fingers” Violet let out a
soft giggle and smiled.
 “You always know how to make me happy” said Violet giving her a quick hug and
they both sat down and started to eat.
The last two blocks dragged on but finally ended the last bell rang. Violet rode the
bus home after school because her parents didn’t get home tell a couple of hours
after school ended. Her adopted dad was a veterinarian and her mom was a nurse they
both worked hard all day. They keep the house pretty clean they had snow white floors
and lightly tanned walls. There living room was pretty big they had a flat screen TV
in it with a long couch that curved at the end and a lazy boy chair. They had a
PlayStation 3 and Wii in their living room Violet would play it at times she loved
games. Her dad would sometimes try to play her at times. For a nice and wonderful
girl she loved very violent games. She crawled into her room and flopped down on her
bed. She had a big room she had a good sized flat screen, a laptop, a desk, and
chair. She had a walk in closet and three windows one showed her back yard. The other
two showed the beautiful forest of Auburn Hills. It’s gorgeous, the trees and
bright sun light the tall green grass. She keeps her window cracked just enough to
wear the wind pushes in nice cool fresh air and blows out the old air. She looked at
her desk and there was a picture of her when she was about 2 years old before her
parents died. They had taken the picture in there front yard with Violet on her dads
shoulder and her mom next to her. Her real parent’s names where Dave and Gena
Stone. They still don’t know what started the fire if it was a gas leak and
something sparked it and it went off. All she remembers is riding home from school on
her bike and seeing her house burnt to a crisp and all of her stuff just gone nothing
left. The police said there wasn’t any evidence that made it look like it was set
on fire on purpose, but there was no evidence that it was set on fire on accident
either like it just burst into flames just out of now where. Her parents didn’t
make it out in time and the building crashed down on them burning them to ashes. They
had a funeral for them a couple of days later putting what they could find of their
parents in a coffin together and they were bared together in a graveyard not too far
from their house. Her parents didn’t live very far from where her non biological
parents did. No one built over the area they were too afraid of the same thing
happening to their house if they did. So she would go over every week and lay flowers
down and fix the area up a little making it look pretty cutting the grass and
planting some flowers. Violet kissed her finger putting it over her parent’s
picture. “I love you” Violet quietly said wiping away a tear and smiling.
 A soft scratching sound came from her window. She looked over and saw her pet cat
sitting on the window wanting in so she walked over to the window and slid it open
“Well hello there Mr. Fluffs nice of you to join me “ said Violet giggling
petting Mr. Fluffs making him purr tell he pounced down meowing signing that he wants
food. Violet picked Mr. Fluffs up and walked him to his kitty bowl sitting him down.
The cat flopped down waiting for his food. “You’re such a fat cat “said Violet
as she poured him some cat food and putting it back. She looked up and glanced out
the glass door. She startled herself and stared straight out seeing a dark figure
outside it looked like a Man. She blinked, closing her eye rubbing them looking
again. Whatever it was it was gone. She stared out the window for a little while
longer tell just telling herself it was probably a animal of some kind and walking
back upstairs. She crawled onto her bed slowly drifting to sleep.
 She jumped hearing the garage door open and a car pull in with sudden yell saying
“who’s ready to eat” it was her dad. Violet smiled sliding out of bed and ran
into the living room she knew before he even entered the room. He had KFC it was her
most favorite fast food in the world. “Yayy thank you daddyyy” Violet took the
bag and quickly sat down some TV trays and got plates and her dad laughing watching
her shoot across the room setting up everything. Her mom walking in putting
everything down smiling as she watched Violet pounce around. Violet had set
everything up a liter of Pepsi waiting to be open and KFC chicken sitting down on
plates and WALL-E inside the DVD player. Her mom laughing along with her dad as they
watch Violet wave for them to come over and sit “Ok, ok honey where coming where
not as fast as you are” said her mom. They all sat down on the couch and both of
her parents hugged Violet “We love you honey you know that right” Violet smiled
and hugged back “yes mom I know, I love you to,” Violet smiled then hit play
They watched the movie laughing and enjoying echother. Once the movie ended, they all
clapped and starting putting everything away. Her parents both gave her a kiss on the
forehead and said goodnight. She went up to her room crawling onto her bed as she
cuddled into her pillow grabbing her stuffed animal with the words Berry sewed onto
it. “Goodnight Berry” said Violet as her cat Jumped onto her bed to “And
goodnight to you too Mr. Fluffs”. She slowly closed her eyes and drifted to sleep
waiting for the next day to come.

A young boy walked in and bowed to his knees in front of an older man sitting on a
black thrown. He had on a pitch black assassins rob with a hood that had a symbol of
a Hawk at the very tip. “You have summoned me master how may I assist you” said
the boy stand up. He was in a white robe; the boy was 16 years old he had a white
assassins robe on that had markings sowed into it that glew dimly. They gave him what
he wanted when he spoke to it. “Yes young assassin I have been watching a girl that
has become in need of protection. She has very special powers that she is unaware of
that she has. But The Shadows know about it to and will kill her. We need her keep
safe and protected at all costs. She needs to be keep away from danger at all costs.
You are my best student so I am sending you for this job I am counting on you young
assassin don’t let me down report to me tomorrow through your world jumper. Go now
to her, her name is Violet Blue Evergrass she lives in Auburn Hills, Michigan. Type
her name and where she lives into your world jumper and it should bring you right to
her. Don’t let me down I am depending on you to keep her safe at all cost”
 “Yes my master I will do what it takes to keep her safe no matter the costs”
Aden bowed. The master assassin stood and bowed back and then walking out of the
room. Aden stuck his hand into his pocket that and pulled out a remote like device
called world jumper it looked like a cellphone but was much more. It was black and
had the words world jumper writing on the back in white. He put his finger on the
screen and a little green light glowing under his finger scanning his finger print. A
little hum came out of the phone as it turned on. The screen shining bright as two
little projectors the size of the top of a pencil shot an image of the globe in a
blue round ball. “Welcome back Cloud” said a girly like robotic voice as a little
bar slide out of the globe Toward Cloud “Hello Star”. He nicknamed his World
Jumper Star because it was a double password in it. If a person where to take his
World Jumper and get past the finger scanning they would have to get past the name
test or it would explode in their hands killing the intruder immediately. “Please
type in target” he pressed the bar and typed in the targets name and entered it.
“Violet Blue Evergrass of Auburn Hills, Michigan” said the phone and the globe
spun and stopped then zooming in closer and closer until stopping at a house, Violets
house, and a little message popped up saying “press OK to teleport.” Cloud
pressed ok and little by little Clouds body started to fade as the world around him
quickly changed from a dark, gloomy castle to a bright beautiful house. His body
slowly came back into figure and he looked around taking in all of the houses. He
looked around looking for a spot to spy in and went straight into action. He darted
toward and tree leaping up it toward a branching grabbing hold of it lifting himself
on top of it. He pulled on his hood covering his head as the markings slowly started
to glow and Cloud whispered “invisible” into his sleeve. His body disappeared as
the marking to him grew bright.
  Carefully he walked toward the end of the branch. He had a perfect view of the
inside of Violets room as he sat there watching her. She was asleep still it was
eight in the morning and it was the weekend and so school was out. He watched her
closely, sitting down and relaxing on the branch this was probably gonna take a
while. He took out Star and started typing threw it he researched her past, who she
was, where she went to school, what she learned, what she wanted to do with her life
everything. He blew out a large breath of air and started to read starting with her
birth. Every once and a while looking up to see if she was still asleep. Every time
he looked at her he looked his gazed stayed longer and longer. Tell he was looking at
her unable to look away he set Star back in his pocket and starred at her. She was
laying perfectly on her side the blankets perfectly covering her body. 

Violet slowly opened her eyes slowly blinking her eyes focusing as her eyes slowly
started to bring in her room into focus. She softly moaned as she turned to look at
the clock. It was nine a clock in the morning she moaned even louder now realizing it
was too early to be awake. She rolled out of bed standing up stretching hard giving a
cute little yawn as she finishes her stretch. She walked to the bathroom and fixing
her hair and brushing her teeth really quick. Then hopping down the hallway to the
kitchen and she was happily invited by a row of pancake on a plate and the smell of
syrup and butter. Her mother was in the kitchen a plate of pancakes was waiting to be
eaten by her on the table. She smiled and slid onto her chair and started to chomp
down the pancakes. Her mom smiled and laughed a little “well someone is a little
hungry aren’t we”. Violet blushed her face brightening as she swallowed a big
bite of pancakes and took a drink of the milk sitting next to her plate. “I can’t
help it, your pancakes are amazing I am always starving once I smell them” Violet
finished her last pancake getting up walking to sink rinsing of her dishes. Her dad
rushed into the kitchen and grabbed an apple kissing Violet and her mom. “Bye, you
two have to get to work they got a lot scheduled for me,” said her dad as he rushed
to the door opening it quickly, he yelled a quick I love you, and stay safe, and he
was out the door. Violets mom finished washing the dishes and wiped her hands off on
a rag hanging it back around the sink. “Well baby girl I have to leave to they are
calling me in for a full day’s work, thank you for the help.” Heather grabbed her
purse and uniform and walked over to Violet giving her a kiss on the forehead.
“Stay safe and call if you have any problems”. She grabbed her keys to her car
and opened the door “oh and if you have anyone over make sure to text me or your
father I love you” She blew Violet a kiss then closed the door walking to her car.
Violet blew out a puff of air as she put away the last of the dishes. 

Cloud heard the cars turn on and drive away from the house. He sighed relaxing as he
slid down the tree quickly running to the window next to the kitchen. He peaked in
looking at her, watching her again getting lost in stare. Aden quickly ducked behind
the window as she turned to dry off her hands. He waited, controlling his heart beat
by breathing deeply before touching his rob and a holographic screen showed on his
sleeve. “Hello Cloud how may I assist you”. 
“Can you bring Violets history and Important to us?”
“Violet Blue Evergrass. Born in Auburn Hills, Michigan. Born on May 21, 1996. Age
15 years old. History, Violets real parents are Dave and Gena Stone. Both parents
died in a building fire cause of fire unknown but the police think it was caused by a
gas leak. Our alliance thinks it might have been caused by The Shadows. After police
left the area we searched and found ashes left by The Shadows. We believe they were
trying to kill the girl not knowing she had school.  So instead of killing Violet the
Shadows killed her parents. They

xxfennec says:   13 July 2013   814477  
honest opinion:
I couldn't get past the first paragraph. 
‹•West•› says :   14 July 2013   849948  
I like the plot of it, it seems good. Just a few mistakes, and you might want to space it more with paragraphs.


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