Tuesday, 10 August 2010
10:13:00 PM (GMT)
I should be lying about the death of Edgar Allen Poe right now! Oh, what tangled
webs we weave.
As the participant in the Drok plan who knows more exercises, I have been charged
with listing some and explaining what they are.
Alright, "charged" is an exageration. Just let me have my fun.
Planks- Start by going into push up position, then bend your elbows and start
counting peices of dirt, because thinking about how filthy the floor is may be your
one chance of not thinking about how badly your arms burn.
Squats- Squat. Now stand up. Now repeat about two hundred times as fast as you can.
Pull Ups- Find a bizzarely pruned tree, sterdy curtain rod, or some other bar like
object that you can grab and use to move your entire body weight up and down.
Hill Runs- Find a hill. Run up it. Walk down it backwards . Run up it again. Walk
down it again. Repeat until you collapse and are forced to roll down the hill because
your legs no longer work. Remember to keep your elbows tuck when that happens.
Step Ups- Go to the bottem stair of any staircase. Step both feet onto it and then
both feet down as fast as possible. Up up down down up up down down up up down down.
Windmills- Stand straight with your arms held out to your sides. Make large circles
with your arms in the air. Now scowl, as anyone near by should be snickering at you.
Crunches- Lie on your back. You like this already, don't you? Put you hands under
your head, tuck your knees towards your chest, and move as if you're trying to touch
your elbows and knees together.
Butt Kicks- Run in such a way that whenever a foot goes back, it kicks you in the
butt. Alternatly, running so that you knee yourself in the boob is good exercise.
Attempting to do both at once is hilarious to watch, but not recomended.
Thigh Lifts- Lie on your side. Lift your right leg up in the air like you're doing
some sort of lying on your side one legged split, then bring in back on top you your
left. Do that about fifty times, then roll over and do the same thing with your left
Crane Legs- Standing straight, for starters. Bad posture is cheating. Hold your hands
palms down so that the sides of your thumbs are against your rib cage. Now lift your
legs so that they touch your picky fingers (one at a time obviously, as cranes are
known for standing on one leg). Repeat until you hate cranes.
Drive Way Sprints- How ever long or short your drive way is, sprint from one end to
the other. Avoid running into cars.
Note: Exercise should be masochistically satisfying, not permanantly damaging. Make
sure to strech before hand, and if you think you're pulling something... Stoppit.
For the full schedual as we make it up, please see the Drok Plan page
Last edited: 11 August 2010