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This diary entry is written by themadhatter. ( View all entries )
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What Killed me....Category: (general)
Wednesday, 21 April 2010
12:25:28 PM (GMT)
I was always there but you probably never saw me. I was the girl in the back all dressed in black with a cold shoulder and a voice of silence. During the day I was invisi-girl, but after class got out I was another person. When the music blared and the neon lights came on my heart beat with a powerful force. My energy spread like blood through your veins across the floor. Rushing hair through the air as it banged with the music. Caressing body to body dancing until your could sweat no more. Boys and Girls untamed and intoxicated from the every night rave flooded the building and made for a night of complete rapture. The rave was a place for me, my safe haven. I wasn’t different; I was prominent. Everyone knew I was the "it" party girl there. My life was emotional and I numbed it the way I knew how. I may have been killing myself in the process but at least I was finally having a little fun; I was being risky with my life or what was left and what gives a better adrenaline rush then being some what dangerous? I knew there was something wrong that night but the feeling in my body was so addictive I couldn’t resist. I felt warmth against me and my eyes caught a glimpse. The hot tension between my brown eyes with his green was tranquilizing. The music roared and people ignored the pushing and shoving of their bodies by him and I. We were soul mates for now until death is what our hearts told us. We found the perfect spot in the middle of the dance floor and moved until smoke arose from the bottoms of our shoes. The heat and passion between us was strong and grave. That night was going so fast and a couple of drinks turned into a half a dozen; lip to lip, soft and gentle the transfer of life’s little pleasure was passed on to me. The lights became a haze and blur; my heart pumped hastily and rough. The more I felt the need of wanting him the harder it was to breath. The last kiss of love and ecstasy left me electrically charged and then zapped me quickly leaving me to drown in the waters of hell. You probably never saw me and the one time you turned around it was too late. I might’ve been too sluggish for you during the day but at night I was a wild animal just like you. It was a night just like any other, a night of killing myself bit by bit, enjoying it minute by minute. However, I knew something was not quite right, love was not that fast. The ecstasy was what killed me the adrenaline rush and the blood circulating from my heart to the rest of my body, the sweat, and the want from him, all of it to much to handle and all compiled into one of the best nights and last. I was the girl in the back wearing all the black with the cold shoulder and voice of silence. You probably won’t remember me but I will always remember you. You were the one who killed me, you were my ecstasy

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