Out Of My Depth ♥. Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

This diary entry is written by Himawari. ( View all entries )
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Out Of My Depth ♥.Category: (general)
Friday, 8 January 2010
03:18:46 PM (GMT)


The only time I manage to do it.
He ignores me.
Because he "fucking hates him".

Let me go through all this.

Friend R.
I've talked to him ALMOST. 
Every single day since I joined.
Friend P.
I talked to him on the first day.
He was the first to talk to me.
Then we didn't talk for ages.
Now we do again.

Now Friend R.
Hates Friend P.
With the fury of 1'000 suns.
Friend P.
Reall, really strongly dislikes.
Friend R.


Now these two bitterly argue all the time.
And I mean ALL the time.
It's all "Fuck this, fuck that,"
Whenever I come on.
I mean.
It kind of hurts.
But I have to hide from Friend P sometimes.
Not usually.
But sometimes.
I'm thinking about it.
And because I don't go as crabbit as I want to.
I'm more violent with Friend R.
But he won't get that.
Because if I ever say something to him.
He ignores me.
And he'll say something like.
"Why can't you do this."
And I usually say.
"Because....." etc, etc.
But if I change my mind.
And do.
He calls me a bitch.
And I think.
Why do I still talk to him?
He always makes me upset.
He always calls me names.
He always asks too much of me.
He always takes me for granted.
He always bitches about my other friends.
He always ignores all my questions to him.
And Friend P asks me why I still talk to him.
And I say I don't know.
But I do.
I do I do I do.
Because I know through everything.
There's still that something.
Perhaps he'll change.
Perhaps he won't.
You never know.

But it still hurts.
And I put up with it.
Because they both mean so much to me.
And they can accuse me of lying.
One will say "I'm not a good friend."
The other will say "You're lying!".
But at least I know the truth.

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