This diary entry is written by Insaniity. ( View all entries )
|You know your obsessed with fucking Twilight when...||Category: (general)|
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
08:28:01 PM (GMT)
...You make a freaking useless note on the basis that your life is consumed by a
sparkly male that exists in the mind of schizophrenic pre-pubecent females.
Seriously, how many "You know your obsessed with twilight when..." notes there are?
They say the same things, over and over and freaking over again. I mean really, get a
Really. Twilight fever is sweeping the nation, and perfectly normal females are
enslaving themselves to crappy writing and a sparkly stalker. I have real problems
with these books. Like, I will physically maim the next person who tells me
"OMFGWTFBBQSAUSEEDWARDCULLENISSOHAWTOMGIWOULDTOTALLYTAPTHAT!" I will find a sharpie,
and shove it up their right nostril. I mean, fuck this! Twilight is complete shit.
Lets talk about deal Eddikins, shall we?
I've asked some people to actually TELL me what they like about darling Eddykins, and
heres what I got.
I WUV Eddykins cuz he cans read MIND.
Sure, thats not creepy at frigin ALL.
"Hi! want to meet my boyfriend? He sees you, and can instantly tell what kind of porn
you've been watching in the last eighteen days!"
For someone as pathetic as Bella, she probably wouldn't mind. Theres too little to
read in the first place.
Because of his velvety, sexy, smooth, amazing voice
It's a voice, not a set of drapes. "Why sir, your voice! It glides so sleekly over my
upholstery! So smooth! So soft! So sumptuous! Did you get it from Ikea?
Because he's old-fashioned.
And so are steam engines, and type writers, and gramophones. Last time I checked,
there wern't many people who wanted them in their pants.
because he is civilized.
"What's for lunch? Oh, Bella's vagina"
Because he has a perfect bod.
So dose Chuck Norris
Because he cares about Bella's safety.
Ohhh, so that's why he mentally and emotionally abuses, stifles and manipulates her
until she's so completely dependant on him, she can't think of anything besides their
sham of a relationship.
Because he prefers brunettes!
OMGICILES! RWAALLY? ZOMGG! U TIS A BRUNETTES TOO! SO ISH A THWIRD OF DA' WORLS
POPULSHIN! THEN EDDIKINS LUBBS ALL OV USH! WE TIS SO SPECHUL!!1!1!
Because he's masochistic.
1. Psychiatry. the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering,
physical pain, and humiliation.
2. gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or
imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others,
esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.
3. the act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.
4. the tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.
because he's extremely eloquent.
“Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were
stars –points of light and reason….And then you shot across my sky like a meteor.
Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you
were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black.
nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by light. I couldn’t see the stars
anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.”
Because he's a vegetarian vampire.
Because he is a travesty of a powerful cultural symbol.
Just for laffs....
"Because only he can dismember a sentiment body stylishly
Because im a Edwardholic
Because everyone feels like swiss chess when they aren't with him
Because in a scale to 1-10 in hotness he's a katrillion zillions of infinites
Because he's oober greath at note passing
Because he's unique in a cool, un-emo/goth/schoolshooter way.
Because he has flippy hair
Because you can't come up with 200 reasons why you love ur real boyfriend
Because he makes girls delusional (hello he's mine LOL)
Because he calls you spider monkey
Because we all secretly own two Twilight copies
Because were not sure if he's a zombie, cause he's definitely got my brain
Cause he made me forget my name
Because he makes all the living men look dead.
Because he's ya noe, and im not just sayin that because I love him
Because he bleeds glitter and cries topaz.
Because he makes addiction sexi
Because he makes everything sexi (EXCEPTION: mike newton)
Because we all secretly have a "Edward wants to do me!" face
Because he's that boy
Because he has a melodic chuckle.
Because he left his heart with me now he has to come back for it, right?
Because he said he's my prisoner
Because he's better than your fictional boyfriend
Because he hears voices in his head
Because I like my men cold, dead, and sparkling
Because he'll cut my brakes...because he loves me
Because penguins are lovely
Because he can climb into your room through your window
Because his crooked smile makes you forget to breathe
Because we're all eager for eternal damnation
Because he's the right kind of heroin
Because he's welcomed to tamper with my memory anytime
Because he's always there
Because he's the reason for many divorces and break-ups( I should know)
Because he throws people to the sharks
You fucking twitards make me lol (:
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