My suidiced letter goodbye (Its not a pome its true. Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

This diary entry is written by ‹Emma Bear›. ( View all entries )
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My suidiced letter goodbye (Its not a pome its true.Category: Bye
Thursday, 1 January 2009
04:49:59 PM (GMT)
I'm sorry I tried my hardest at life. I have nobody to love. I'm alone every night.
I finally know what to do. I go done on my knees and pray to god and say all me
confession and i go to chruch to tell the  my cofessions then I take the knife and
stick it in me. I will kill my self because I have no love. I have no more sunshine.
I'm sorry but I need my dad. There is only one person who allwasy told me it will be
ok and that he loved me. He was the only one. He was the only one who gave me time to
be my self he is the one who knows my secretes. He is my ex. I loved him. I lost him
like life.  I don't want to play the game of life anymore. I'm sorry. I tried. You
don't know how hard life is for me. He know though. He and me had so many promises.
How can he be so happy and find a new girlfriend. I can't find happieness any more.
Who ever comes to my funreal my clostes frineds on here please tell the people to
play R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts. That song will help them. I have nobody else in my
life. He was the only one. Well life was fun half it was. I'm sorry well I hope you
guys will have fun in life and be able to move on. I don't think noting will stop me
this time.  Well bye
Last edited: 1 January 2009

‹~[Athazagoraphobia]~› says:   1 January 2009   929482  
NO! dont kill yourself. i know we dont talk much but i keep your
secrets and ill always be your friend! please dont kill yourself
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   211945  
I am sorry but I need to if his mtoher lets us talk again then I
won't but this time it won't happen I know its not I am sorry
‹~[Athazagoraphobia]~› says:   1 January 2009   515332  
dont! please! you have so much things in life like getting married
and having kids
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   628731  
But he was the one he was the one I wanted to married and have kids
with it don't matter anymore
GgLee says:   1 January 2009   272461  
i DONT kNOW yOU bUT dONT kILL yOURSELF ... eVEN i wILL bE sAD .. i
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   298718  
I am sorry but I have to the only person who can stop me and if he
jsut change everythign back to norimal then I won't do it but I know
its not going to happen so this is the only way
‹♥Kirsche♥› says:   1 January 2009   566288  
the only reason I know you, is because I read your stories, but u
have your whole life ahead of u! dont kill yourself!!! I hardly know
u, but I'm about to cry right now. u cant do this!!!!!!!
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   384676  
I am sorry but I have I  don't have anything life to look foward to
‹<20/20Hindsight>› says:   1 January 2009   912719  
... please don't ... i couldn't live with myself if u did
if u die then think about all of the other people who will kill
themselves to deal with the loss of u

i love u and i allways will sis
i promise to try to be on more and talk to u more often
your like my sister, and i don't want to lose u...
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   845246  
Bro I love you yo your my bestfriend and liek a brother to me but I
can't move on with out him.  Thats what the song is for that song will
help them though this and rember when I am dead I will always be there
and I will protect you
‹°~Zidlijan-Roleplay Addict~°› whispers:   1 January 2009   127267 as thou please, but thou are making a mistake....the same
mistake i comitted...long ago...
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   239837  
what do you mean
‹<20/20Hindsight>› whispers:   1 January 2009   665588  
*starts to cry*
my heart can't take much more...
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   612655  
cutter please its going to be ok
GabbyRidonculous says:   1 January 2009   588476  
You had a relationship with yer dad ?
Like boyfriend girlfriend ?
‹♥Kirsche♥› says:   1 January 2009   823794  
oh gawd, do u actually think that!? ^
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   695867  
No eww thats wrong my dad dead
‹Mad♥Hatter♥Love› says:   1 January 2009   189295  
Dude, don't kill yourself. You'll end up going to hell. And, who else
would write stories like you?

Then, you didn't even tell me I was your friend. Even after I ut
♥s on a comment.

I feel screwed.
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   846976  
This is why I am going to pray to god and go to chruch to confess and
I don't know but its my ex fault I am ddoing this he was happy he
didn't fight with him mom to keep talking to me and he made me want to
do this I am sorry but there will be other writers
‹Mad♥Hatter♥Love› says:   1 January 2009   844976  
Forget about your Ex for God's sake!
If he didn't fight for you then he's a freakin' low-down dirty SOB!
You need to find someone who really ♥ you!
And, if he really ♥ you, then he'll figure it out!
If you are dead, then how do you expect him to ever realize he loves
you with all his heart!!!!!!????
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   831323  
But he does still want to talk to me I know that but if i die he will
see what he did. I dopn't under why he found a new girlfriend and be
so happy. Did he see my pain
‹Mad♥Hatter♥Love› says:   1 January 2009   654676  
He probably did.
You just have to deal with the fact that most boys are inconsiderate,
immature, S.O.B.'s that don't give ****.
So, in conclusion, get revenge.
But, make sure it's legal.
Revenge always feels better. Trust me, I know.
And, you aren't the only one who has lost somebody close to them. You
lost a freakin' boyfriend.
What about people who freakin' lost Moms and dads like my cousins?
Did they kill theirselves? No, I'm pretty sure my cousin is still
living if I talked to him today.
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   342847  
I don't want that he is diffrent I jsut want him to call me and talk
to me
‹~[RAWRALICIOUS>=3]~› says:   1 January 2009   196146  
Don't kill yourself! You still have a life that you need to continue!
He is just one guy! He is not good enough for you!.....Please...Don't
kill yourself! *cries* T_T
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   911517  
He might be oen guy but he was m life with out him theres noting to
look foward anymore in life  I don't need to contuine there is no
‹♥Kirsche♥› says:   1 January 2009   258934  
okay u know what!? u're taking this way out of proportion!! this is
ONE boyfriend!!! and if he was right for u, he would show that! but
he's obviously not. and now u're gonna kill youself over one
inconsiderate guy. think about all the other people who have lost
family, maybe from death. and do u see all of those ppl who have lost
someone, try to kill themselves!!?? no! u dont! many ppl's loved ones
have died. and u dont see them, causing even more pain for the rest of
the ppl who loved them. this is only ONE boyfriend. GET OVER HIM!!
he's not worth it!!
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   984661  
I can't its to hard for me to see him so happy and him haveing some
one to love and me alone with nobody to love who am I too huh who will
want to be my boyfriend?
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   251941  
Now I don't know what do
‹Mad♥Hatter♥Love› says:   1 January 2009   433627  
Don't know what to do?
Dont kill yourself! That is about the stupidest thing and worse sin in
the world. Plus, confessing ebfore you kill yourself to God is
actually dumb. You'd still go to hell.
That's why God and jesus are the only men you need.
Not some inconsiderate SOB.
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   168197  
ok I am really confuse and lsot now what to do about this god thing
is really confuseing me and scarying me I don't want to go to hell and
I don't want to end up in a black world  I am scared now
Oroborus21 says:   1 January 2009   386412  
you cant get your ex back by taking your life so that's just pretty
stupid really. you can't "make a point" to him..and you won't know
what he will think, whether he wil be sad or feel wrong, because you
will be dead and thus u wont know anything.

i wont even get into the fact that youre too young to really know what
love is all about or to know the right person for you but you dont
meet hte right person at your age, again thats just stupid and
something you need to just realize.  you can find love and the right
person but thats goign to be a lot later in life and you just have to
deal with the shit in your life the same as everyone else is.

you can choose suicide but its a choice in life you will never be able
to take back and you can never regret it if you are successful.

really if you wanted love, and your ex to maybe think about getting
back with you, AND to make your father proud, you would just work to
make yourself the best person possible in every way. healthwise and
attractive in person and succeed the best you can and use your
talents....then others including your ex would see you as someone they
want to be with. that is the best way.

your dad wouldnt approve and you dont love him if you take your life
becuase he gave it to you and this is how you disrespect him? you also
disrespect your Heavenly Father as well who is the giver of all life.
Saying prayers and asking for forgiveness in advance of sin you
already plan to commit is pointless.

And that is IF there is something beyond this life. Sorry you may have
faith that there is but the fact is that you do not KNOW for a
certainty! So you cant count on anything more if you do end your
life....and it would just be dumb to end it when its not even a
fraction lived and you dont even know how your iife would be later on.
 What is your rush?   I think you should wait a while and consider
suicide later if your life turns out pretty crappy or something. Its
not something you have to do right now. Youre just depressed and
lonely the way most of us are or get sometimes. just hang in there and
stop being such a baby about it. your dad wouldnt like that you would
give up so easily.

btw your ex will probalby break up wiht whoever he's dating fairly
soon anyways because that's what happens with teen relationships...its
normal.  but you wont be around ti catch him on the rebound or to get
a second shot. again thats stupid.

if you were smart you would just work on making yourself as
Oroborus21 says:   1 January 2009   739844  
if you were smart you would just work on making yourself as happy and
attractive and interesting as possible to win him back or someone
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   448929  
Now I am confuse  and don't know what to do
matilda860 says:   1 January 2009   875224  
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   379579  
Its a maybe now
‹♥Kirsche♥› says:   1 January 2009   873998  
what do u mean a MAYBE!!??? it should be, I"M DEFINETLY NOT
‹Emma Bear› says:   1 January 2009   916998  
I just confuse
‹elkittle› says:   2 January 2009   466552  
Don't kill urself ok? We all need you. I need you. And I'm not very
happy since the day we broke up. I loved you. Your going to bring pain
into our lives and we won't be able to move in.
‹elkittle› says:   2 January 2009   567755  
*Your going to bring pain into our lives if u kill urself*
‹Emma Bear› says:   2 January 2009   949622  
But you love a difrirent girl how can you love me I haven't talked to
you in a while and its killing me I am stupid. I have no idea what to
do anymore. I miss your voice I miss how you made me happy can we fix
this between are parents
‹elkittle› says:   2 January 2009   781949  
don't worry we can fix this.
‹Emma Bear› says:   2 January 2009   843342  
OK I hope we can.
‹elkittle› says:   2 January 2009   664385  
I do too.
‹Emma Bear› says:   2 January 2009   752231  
If we can't then thats when I am going to go crazy and kill myself
‹elkittle› says:   2 January 2009   616775  
ur not killing urself. we are still going to be friends and we will
be able to talk to each other on Kupika for as long as we talk to each
other by message, and I will be able to sneak some calls to you on
some nights.
‹Emma Bear› says:   2 January 2009   251627  
But if we can talk to each other by message why haven't you lately?
‹elkittle› says:   2 January 2009   678218  
I guess i didn't think about it b4.
‹Emma Bear› says:   2 January 2009   117412  
okey dokey
‹elkittle› says:   2 January 2009   929424  
well do u want to talk about this tomorrow?
‹Emma Bear› says:   2 January 2009   545454  
sure I will be on some time tomorow
‹elkittle› says:   2 January 2009   271273  
ok. good night and sweet dreams.
‹°~Zidlijan-Roleplay Addict~°› whispers:   2 January 2009   629481  
...i already told you...i'm death...and that was a mistake...don't
comite the same mistake...or you will end up like me
‹Emma Bear› says:   2 January 2009   615312  
your death?
trrina_bby_x3 says:   2 January 2009   273418  
i koow how u feel cause mii dad left n it hurts! he IS dying and if u
feel that way, we can talk!
‹°~Zidlijan-Roleplay Addict~°› whispers:   2 January 2009   851774 simple, you will end up wondering your entire eternity
why you did that...thinking about what you couldn't do....etc...
‹Emma Bear› says:   2 January 2009   719837  
trrina_bby_x3 yes we can

zylar your scaring me
‹°~Zidlijan-Roleplay Addict~°› whispers:   2 January 2009   962377  
I'M scary....
‹Emma Bear› says:   2 January 2009   329419  
yes because your talking about you being death thats jsut messed up
‹°~Zidlijan-Roleplay Addict~°› whispers:   2 January 2009   835153  
i'm death....
‹Emma Bear› says:   2 January 2009   979498  
no your not
xxCiNDYxx says:   2 January 2009   342657  
Don't kill yourself! i dont even know u and when i read ur diary. . .
well, it touched me! PLease don't!! i luv u! i'll be your friend!! God
loves you for who you are and with that faith u CAN be someone! just
don't suicide!
‹Emma Bear› says:   2 January 2009   322566  
OK I think I changed my mind now . OK we can be friends. I know god
loves me and I love him to. I think I can be someone too I won't
suicide. I never knew this many people cared so much I feel so wanted
I am glade I have a online family *hugs everyone*
‹°~Zidlijan-Roleplay Addict~°› whispers:   3 January 2009   642516  
........forget it...thanks for the hug and don't ever think about
suiciding again...
‹Emma Bear› says :   3 January 2009   937559  
ok and you welcome  I won't for a while I won't


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