Essays on Beauty, No 1: Value Attachment Affirmation Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 
 

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Essays on Beauty, No 1: Value Attachment AffirmationCategory: (general)
Thursday, 27 March 2008
11:19:47 PM (GMT)
When, as I have done, you talk to a lot of people who are very insecure about their
bodies and the way they look, you (or at least I) get to know those problems pretty
well.

When, as I do, you have an anarchist (or world-rejecting in general) value system,
there is a dilemma that arises. Take this situation:

Sarah is insecure about the way she looks. She thinks she is not attractive, and her
self-esteem is thus very low. She sees no worth in herself, associated with her
perceived ugliness.
Bob and Sarah are talking about this, and about how Sarah feels.
Sarah says that she feels horrible about herself because she is ugly.

Bob then is presented with a problem. Does he say that he thinks she is beautiful, or
does he say that he thinks it doesn't matter what she looks like, she's a beautiful
person, even though he does think she is beautiful.

If he takes the first route, there might not think she's ugly for a little while, and
thus her self-esteem might get better, but ultimately she'll probably sink back down
to thinking she's ugly and thus feeling worthless.

If he takes the second route, she might not agree with him, or she might not have
thought of it. It will probably not result in her feeling instantly better (it might
be taken as an "Yeah, you're ugly, but..." kind of statement). It's also very
difficult to break the ingrained notion that a woman's sense of self-worth should be
attached permanently to her appearance.

What's more, the first route actually enforces the very system that makes Sarah feel
worthless in the first place. So what's Bob to do? This is my dilemma.

It takes an extreme amount of effort for someone to break out of the notion that
beauty==worth. If Bob and Sarah are casual acquaintances, he's not really in a
position to help her with that, and yet it is the 'general public' of which he is a
part that cause her to feel this way.  It's also obvious that if no one chose the
temporary solution, the problem would be over.

I think, in nearly every case, we should help people to break out of the value system
that causes Sarah to feel worthless. The beauty system works in such a way that the
average person will never achieve the 'beauty standards', because beauty is defined
as better than average, elevated above the masses.

~~~

This is why I am annoyed by people who charm everyone by complimenting them on their
appearance. They're just perpetuating the the beauty system. I will go more onto
alternatives to this system in another essay, I expect...

Comments 
‹Up-in-the-Clouds› says:   28 March 2008   334392  
This thing is weird cause my name is sarah and i feel exactly the
same way the sarah in the story does. i dont have a friend named bob
though.
 
Jahannam says:   28 March 2008   266369  
Ah, I see, I see. You CAN explain why it annoys you well. :P And I
never really looked at it that way, I can see why it would bother you
a lot. 
I bet the people who do that don't think of it like that either, maybe
you'll teach some people something. :P
neoeno says:   28 March 2008   292351  
OH WOW WE'RE BOTH ON AT THE SAME TIME AND I'M LISTENING TO YOUR
PODKAST XD

Maybe! XD Not in essay form though. People only listen to things on
POSTERS.
 
Jahannam says:   28 March 2008   216914  
STOP LISTENING TO IT RIGHT NOW D:

And, MAKE A POSTER THEN!
neoeno says:   28 March 2008   684522  
It just ended :P Awwww... sho kyute...

I might! If I can figure out what it would say.
 
Jahannam says:   28 March 2008   159218  
Not kyute. DX I never ever ever ever ever want to hear that again! 

Ah. Yes. Would be hard to put your essay into a few words. :| I HAVE
FAITH IN YOU THOUGH.
neoeno says:   28 March 2008   494975  
Vereh Kyute :P Sho Vereh.

Alex wants your next podcast to contain the word 'shitcamel', btwXD

:D YAY FAITH
 
Jahannam says:   28 March 2008   377611  
You only say that to spare my feelings! XD BECAUSE YOU'RE NICE AND
YOU DO NOT LIKE DISCOURAGING PEOPLE.

And, OMG. I can't believe you showed them that! DX I HATE YOU. And
there'll never be another podcast anyway. :P

:D VERY MUCH OF IT
neoeno says:   28 March 2008   284735  
Nope! Your podcasts make me smiiiile :D

Aww.. 

:D YAY YAY
 
Jahannam says:   28 March 2008   918728  
*hideface* Gacckk, I'm so embarrassed! 

Your sad face will not work D: No podcasts! >_>
neoeno says:   28 March 2008   845399  
Awwww :D

Awwww D:
 
saralyn247 says :   15 June 2008   941267  
Shitcamel. I'm not even going to ask.
 

 
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