Wednesday, 5 October 2011
08:52:46 AM (GMT)
Today is Brittany's birthday.
She would have been 22 today.
I think I might go out to the cemetery later, talk with her a bit.
It's a bit strange that I no longer feel very sad about her death.
I guess it is because I know she is always with me, but it still feels a bit odd.
Change is a funny thing.
I am learning to embrace it, and not question it.
As of today, Jesse has been off of heroin for 100 full days.
I like that it happened the day before Brit's birthday.
Jesse has gotten rid of the thing that ended her life.
Brit would be proud.
She is proud.
I think she would like for Jesse and I to help people.
Help them get off drugs, especially, but just be the type of people that are there to
listen and understand.
A lot of people don't have that, and sometimes that is the difference between life
I think what Jesse has gone through all makes sense now.
It qualifies her to help in a way that most people can't.
She understands eating disorders, and what it takes to stop them.
She knows about being abused, and how to cope, and get through the memories and
She knows about drug use, and what it takes to get off of them.
She knows about those who hear and see things they can't explain, and how to help
She has been through just about everything an 18 year old can go through, and now her
life is better than ever.
She is living proof that no matter how big your problems, you can come out a better
I think I can help too, but not like she can.
People can talk to me and relate easily, but I don't have half the experience she
I can help with relationships, alcohol and drug use, depression and anxiety, but not
a whole lot more.
I think my role in this whole thing is to be there for her.
To keep her grounded, happy, to make sure her mind is clear so she can see her path.
I think I can handle that.
Happy Birthday Brittany.
I hope that Jesse and I can live our lives in a way that would make you proud.
We will try our best.
I will never forget you, and you will be with us every step of the way.
Jesse, happy 100th day.
But really, it is just the beginning of the rest of your life.
I am so proud of you.
I love you, firefly.