Tuesday, 19 April 2011
10:19:22 PM (GMT)
Random Spoof Sorta Thing I wrote
Of three things I was absolutely sure:
Numero uno Edward Cullen needs a life.
2. Edward Cullen is stalking me,
and three: Joseph Trohman likes chocolate; its one of his favourite things.
It was a stormy Wednesday. I knew this because the calendar said so, and the weather
man had implied that Wednesday would be stormy. My
gaybutimtheonlypersonintheworldwhoknowsit dad , Karlie, was pissing on the couch,
eating flapjacks and watching a hockey game. He secretly hopes that one day the
players will suddenly start making out on the ice. I was doing my too easy homework
in the kitchen. In a while, Im gonna make dinner for my dad because hes am idiot, and
well, he cant cook. Im so good and everyone loves me because im chella pawn. I cant
stop thinking about Edward Cullen, and for some reason HE COULD NOT STOP STARING AT
THE NEW GIRL Bella Swan today. Yuck. I love him, with his unsexy, sexyness and his
badly gelled hair. I love the way it looks like he got hit with a sack of flour in
the face. I love the way he shimmers like glitterglue in the sun and the way he
screams at little kids in Spanish. Sigh. Although I like cheese because it rots
really quickly. EWARD CULLEN IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT HE COULD FRY AN EGG, ON
HIS FACE and it would actually be a tiny bit edible if you like salmonella.
Espestos….is what I had for dinner. Karlie just had toast with old men on top. Of
him. I will never leave my bedroom. Cause I love to pretend to do Edward using my
sack of flour, sparkly tiara and the hair I cut off my mothers corpse. I want a curly
bananananananana. Ana. Nananan.
sooo... watcha think??????