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This diary entry is written by SithWedgie. ( View all entries )
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stale playdough.Category: (general)
Sunday, 18 April 2010
05:29:42 PM (GMT)
Ephesians 2: 4-10  “because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy,
made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace
you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the
heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the
incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from
yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we
are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared
in advance for us to do.”

Please read it again, slowly, not thinking of other things but focusing on its
meaning.  Yes, do it.  Trust me that once isn’t enough.  

*sigh *  .-. I am not a perfect man.  Well, that’s the easy way of saying it.  To
put it more honestly, I screw up.  A lot.  So here’s the story. 

Yesterday was Anna’s birthday. (Janine’s younger sister, turned 15) so she had a
bunch of her friends over along with myself, her brother, and her sister.  We played
a pirate game of clue.  Not the board game either.  It was one of those legit games
with real characters and stuff.  We were indeed all dressed as pirates.  Anna’s
character was a wench, a worker at the pub we were supposedly at for all of this.  So
we made many whore jokes and Anna, being who she is, wasn’t bothered whatsoever and
laughed at most of them.  

Some of her friends swore a lot more readily and with more colorful words than most
of us, though most of us did say something of the manner at some time.  It was
actually about average for a group of high schoolers.  I'm no highschooler, but i
still remember how to act like one.

But with us was Karina.  :/ Karina is Christa’s little sister, age 13, who I used
to take to church as part of our youth program.  So as you can see, I was certainly
not as I behave in church.  So at the end of the night she was pretty upset with all
of it, but especially me.  Upset as in quietly crying and having her image of me
really tweaked from some perfect, nice guy to a highschooler.  While I wasn’t the
worst of the group, I did not stop them either.  Which I know I should have, and I
really did screw up.

So with that fresh in my memory, in church today (which I did not want to go to) we
went over how we’re all God’s workmanship.

So.  How to live as God’s masterpiece? I’m pretty sure we don’t feel like we
are masterpieces, but he says we are.

The biggest thing.  To have faith.

Being honest, there is nothing I can do on my own for God.  I must have his help or I
can only make things worse.  Even with good intentions, even with laughter. 

We are to be as clay to be molded.  Sometimes we choose to be jelly.  Or sometimes we
choose to be playdough that was put away but the lid wasn’t on tight and its mostly
dry but not completely.  You know exactly what I mean. 

To be jelly is like being the child who was forced to go on errands with his mother. 
Dragging his feet, acting like dead weight, allowing to go but having a terrible
“uuugggghhh” attitude.   We allow to be molded, but like jelly we just slump and
don’t hold shape. 

To be old playdough is being more adamant in our ways.  Not wanting to change.  

“I am never going to measure up.”  Of course I won’t.  Whether we are deserving
or undeserving is not the point so we shouldn’t act like it is.

I’m amazed that God could EVER call me a masterpiece.  I mean, does he not SEE my
glaring flaws?  Its almost impossible to believe that he could see them and still
call me that.

Living for God is not a burden, nor should it be viewed as such.  Its very normal for
people taking a look into Christianity to be concerned about what its going to cost
them.  “What would I be forced to give up?”

As someone who grew up in a church, I still have times of “*siiigh* I really should
give that up.  But I really don’t want to.” And it goes back and forth and back
and forth.  Usually I turn to jelly.  Sometimes I’m stale playdough.  And too
rarely am I clay asking to be molded and wanting to hold the shape I’m put into.

As jelly, God usually puts me out in the sun to harden a little bit (metaphorically)
to be shaped more easily.  And if I am hardened, I need to be broken and re mixed. 

Both have very unpleasant processes, but… I can’t deny that the results are

People.  We focus so much on how we don’t want to give anything.  We have GOT to
remind ourselves and each other of the very. First. Thing. That God asks from us.  He
asks for ourselves.  He asks for me, as broken and seemingly useless as I am and he
loves me the same and he wants to take my grief, my sorrow, my weariness, my pain, my
pride, and my worries.  

He wants what is bad in our lives.  Even the things WE don’t see as bad and the
things that we may agree are kinda bad but that we still want.  Bad meaning that even
in a little way if it gets in the way of us living better, happier, more complete and
productive lives.

I had a lot of fun yesterday screaming and making jokes and acting like an idiot. 
But Karina was there to represent my conscience that I had left at the door.  To
remind me that I was doing things and saying things that while socially acceptable
were not to God’s glory.

My friends… when we give our lives to God we begin a change.  God created the
Earth, he is not of it.  And as people who strive to be more like God we become less
like the world.  I screwed up.  I was stale playdough yesterday and today I’m
crumbs and dust being mixed and remade into clay.

God can be a killjoy sometimes, just because something is fun and socially accepted
does NOT make it right in God’s eyes.  And he wants what is best for us.  Never
forget that.  He wants us to live life to the fullest today, he wants us to be joyful
and works to make us these ways.  Have faith.  I say all of this to myself as much as
to anyone else.

I’m done.  Sorry for repeating myself so much.

Please listen, and hopefully this can be your song today as it is mine.
Last edited: 18 April 2010

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