Thursday, 29 October 2009
03:57:25 AM (GMT)
Arguing Couple vs The Zombies!!!
"I've been bitten."
"Oh shit. Oh fucking shit!"
"So... what now?"
"Now we get married."
"Okay. Jokes. Nice. When the fuck did it happen?"
"Back at the petrol station. Whilst you filled up the car I went to look for
cigarettes. One jumped out from behind a rack of magazines. I knew smoking would kill
"With the jokes."
"So.. now I have to kill you I guess?"
"That's the routine, yes."
"How would you like it done?"
"You mean I get to choose?"
"Wow. And here was me thinking today was starting to go a little awry."
"You know, this sarcasm and general bad attitude thing you have going on is making
the whole idea of killing you seem a lot easier to deal with."
"Oh I do apologise. Normally when I have been bitten by a zombie I do cartwheels or
throw a party."
"There you go again."
"Okay, okay. Sorry."
"It's not easy for me to deal with either you know?"
"I get it. But you're not the one who will be on a brains and flesh diet from
"Thanks. And in answer to your question I think I will go for the old bullet in the
brain. It's a cliche I know but it seems effective."
"Good choice. So do you want to do it or shall I?"
"I had sort of presumed you would."
"Oh.. well.. I... okay."
"You don't want to?"
"I never said that."
"I sensed hesitation."
"I've never fired a gun before."
"You just pull a trigger. It's hardly brain surgery."
"I might miss."
"You are sitting right next to me!"
"Okay! Okay! I'll do it."
"Jeez! Anyone would think it was you getting shot in the face."
"Well.. listen.. what if you just promise not to eat me?"
"Honey, I got to tell you zombies aren't really known for keeping promises. One
promised to return my lawn mower last Spring and I still haven't had it back."
"Well if you're going to be silly..."
"I can't believe I have to work so hard to convince you to kill me!"
"I just don't want to kill somebody needlessly."
"This isn't needless! I'm about to turn into a flesh eating monster! I'd say that
counts as needful!"
"Well.. I was thinking.. you've never really had a big appetite."
"Maybe a whole brain would be too much for you? Maybe you'd just be happy to nibble
on my fingernails or something?"
"Fingernails? I don't think you have quite grasped this whole zombie situation."
"Okay how about a McDonald's? Has anyone even tried to feed a zombie a McDonald's
"I think possibly you've been bitten by a mentalist. You've gone insane."
"There is one just round the corner. Maybe zombies only settle for human brains
because they are incapable of ordering a Big Mac. Maybe if we... Ouch!"
"You bit me!"
"You tore a big chunk out of my arm!"
"I am so embarrassed right now."
"It really smarts! Why didn't you warn me?!"
"I just got a sudden urge. Maybe it was the talk of Big Macs that made me hungry?"
"Well that's just great."
"I really can't apologise enough."
"So now we are both zombies I guess. At least that solves the shooting you problem.
Now what do you want to do?"
"Let's head to that McDonald's you mentioned. There might be some college kids there.
I have a sudden craving for fresh brains."
"Not Big Mac's?"
"Well there goes my theory."