Monday, 5 October 2009
09:43:31 AM (GMT)
"If you weren't my best friend, I would hate you." Alison grumbled as I stepped out
of her wide bathroom. Her red bottom lip was stuck out in a pout and her brown eyes
"Why?" I said, a little startled at my friends comment. She usually was much
less hostile towards me.
"Cause you're so damn pretty. No wonder all those chicks hate you- they're
totally jealous." She said, standing up and shoving a mirror towards me, reavealing
how I looked.
I was looking in the mirror at a familiar stranger.
She had bright blue eyes that were surrounded with dark black eyeliner and eye
shadow with long, heavly lashes framing them. She had a short nose that ended above a
pair of soft, full lips that were spread, revealing her white teeth. Her blonde and
reddish brown hair was in luxurious waves down to above her breasts and along her
long neck. The black dress that hung around her body was plain but very beautiful.
The front was a low-cut cowlneck that fell to above her belly button. Rested in the
center of her breasts was the silver insignia of her goddess, Nyx. The familiar
stranger spun slowly, making the black velvet dress sweep along with her in a
graceful movement. The girl's back was also fully revealed, her alabaster skin
against the black fabric.
She looked amasing.
"Thanks Ali, I love you too." I snorted, swirling back to her with a sly grin on
my face. She rolled her eyes and crossed her hands over her halter-top. She was
wearing the same necklace as me though her's was hidden by the long waves of her
"No problem, girl." She flashed me a lop-sided grin with her index and middle
finger held up in the peace sighn. I chuckled rolling my deep blue eyes.
"You're such a dork." I grumbled, feeling the black velvet hug my legs as I
walked towards her bed.
"Ugh, What your boyfriend wouldn't give to see you in that dress." She laughed,
tugging on a strand of my blonde and brown hair. I laughed, deeply being wounded by
the mention of him. I loved that boy oh so much, but I had to tell myself that
letting him go was the right thing- even when I could never feel the lovely feeling
of love again. I was easily intoxicated by his very being and most of all, his soft,
careful touch. So many times while we kissed had I imagined what it would be like if
none of the worries we had would just dissapear so we could kiss and love without any
boundaries. Only a few times did I think about him making love to me. He was the drug
that every heroin addict preyed for.
"I'm sure he would, if I had a boyfriend." I grumbled fighting the tears I
always seemed to let go. She groaned and laid her head on my shoulder.
"I'm going to call him your boyfriend because you still love him-even though he
might be cheating." she sighed and lifted her head so she could see my watery eyes.
"I know he loves you to- Nyx knows it too- so I think you should stop pretending you
can live without him and give up." she smiled warmly like a mother telling her child
about how everything would be ok when she spilt milk.
"I know I can't be without him. But I just-" I broke off, feeling the tears
threatening my makeup. "I just can't go on without him here. Everyone, and I mean
everyone, is fluttering around with their boyfriend right next to them while mine is
the voice on the phone and a distant memory. I need him to be back here." I closed my
eyes and let a few stray tears cascade down my cheeks. I was afraid without him. I
was loosing my sanity with every night I fall asleep without his voice. Ali's arms
slid around me in a soothing hug but I felt to numb to feel its warmth. I didn't want
her arms to be the ones soothing me, but his. I swallowed the lump in my throat and
dared my lips to form his beautiful name, for it was the most painful thing for me to
say. Ali's arms moved untill only her hands were holding me at her arms length.
"He's moving right?" she asked softly, still like a mother would talk to a hurt
child. I broke into sobs.
"Y-yes but w-we b-broke up." I sobbed, covering my face with my hands. I hated
feeling so weak and small, but when it came down to him, I was allways willing to
"He still freaking loves you, Taylor and you know it! Breaking up with someone
is not going to make it so you two stop having feelings for eachother! You guys are a
fucking match in Nyx's bossom! You need to stop fucking crying about it and fix
things up with him because I know you love him!" she shouted, shaking me. Then with a
heavy sigh she began again;"Look, I know you think that what you did is going to work
but it isn't. You two will allways love eachother and nothing- even distance- can
stop that. Sure he's done some stupid shit, but you forgave him. And I know you've
done some really stupid shit and I know he'll forgive you. You guys are going to get
back together so I can that dress at your wedding and be your kid's god mother." she
smiled and motioned to the dress I was wearing. I huccuped in responce.
And as if on cue, my phone rang. It wasn't just any old ring- it was his ring.
Bleeding love. My heart stopped beating and my breath caught in my throat.
"Who is it?" Ali asked, trying to solve my expression. I swallowed and tried
once again to speak his name.
"Dustin." So much adoration and agony was laced into the way I said his name. It
was like it could express my deepest sorrows along with my irrevicable love for him.
It slid through my lips so easily and beautifully it was like every time I said it I
was singing like an angel. It was the name that was etched into my heart and into my
"Answer it!" she hissed, leaning over, clicking the send button and placing the
phone to my ear.
"H-hello?" I stuttered, still surprised by Ali's attack.
"Hey." and there it was. The voice that starred in my dreams and sparked these
strange feelings within me. It was the voice that was connected to the most wonderful
person Nyx could create. "Is it okay if Brendan is on the phone?" he asked as his
smooth voice tickled me.
"No it doesn't but I have to go anyways." I said, more confident under the high
from his voice. Mixed confusing emotions fluttered inside me while he spoke and even
more when he sang. I felt beautiful and wonderful and alot of other wonderful
emotions whenever he spoke.
"Oh, okay.Sorry, bye." and then he was gone with the quiet click of the phone
line. Why did he call me when we were over? Why wasn't he pissed? Somewhere deep
where all the emotions he rused stayed, I was happy he wasn't mad or upset with me.
It was wrong but it was somehow right.
With a quick makeup fix, I drifted through the night with Ali nearby to the only
place I belonged. My Nyx ritual.