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This diary entry is written by x_Identical_x. ( View all entries )
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Mother Trouble.Category: (general)
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
03:09:02 PM (GMT)
Dear whoever cares, I never thought my mom would be one to talk about me behind my back. Much less to one of my friends. I mean, how stupid could she possibly be to think I wouldn't hear about it when she started ranting about Cliff to Colleen? Did she think that Colleen would actually not tell me this? Or maybe she was planning it, maybe she wants me to know she disapproves of us. Well, I want her to know that she can kiss my ass if she thinks I'm going to break up with Cliff just because she doesn't like him. Everything was going fine, I thought. I mean, I told mom that Cliff (My boyfriend) apologized for making her feel uncomfortable and that we wouldn't do anything in front of her anymore but apparently that's not good enough for dear old mommy. It was good enough for dad but not her. And y'know, I wouldn't be so mad if she had come up to me and talked about this instead of gossiping to Colleen (My friend) about it. And I still don't think she had a right to get mad. We kissed! We've been going out for a month and she expects us not to kiss? I don't think so. And it's not like we did it right in her face. We thought she wasn't looking when she was driving the car. We were perfectly comfortable in the back seat, him stealing little kisses from time to time. And finally we had a kiss that was a bit longer than the others and that's when dear mommy decided she wanted to sneak a peek through the rear-view mirror to spy. So, yeah. We kissed. And, yes, we did it for more than a second. I'm sorry if that's not how mommy did it in the 70's. And not only did she spy on me, yell at me, talk about me behind my back, and totally break my heart; she decided that she wanted to try and hook me up with Sam's (My other friend) brother. Yeah, the dude who I met at Colleen's party. The dude who's name I don't even know. The dude that my mom has met once and that was for two seconds. So she thinks a complete stranger is better than my boyfriend. Good for her. If she likes him so much, she can date him, not me. I'm perfectly fine with the boy I'm with right this moment, but thanks anyway 'Cupid'. I haven't done anything wrong. But I buried what I felt was right and said all the things mommy dearest wanted me to say, I gave into whatever she had planted into her head that made her so angry and asked Cliff to apologize for something that we're supposed to do. I let her trash talk me and Cliff, I let her tell me how I should act, I let her rant to me about how I didn't know anything about any of this. And I did it all with out yelling, snapping, screaming, or losing my cool. I think that's something I can be proud of. But my mom is really pushing it, I'm so fucking close to just snapping right her face about how she doesn't know a fucking thing about me! About how she's too fucking caught up in her own life to notice what used to go on at home, how she couldn't even notice that her own little daughter was sinking into that beautiful sea of depression the a blade as her only life-jacket. I didn't have her to talk to. I don't have her to talk to now, apparently. I thought I could trust her, I thought I knew if something was bothering her, she'd come to me about it. I thought she would have the decency to keep this business of MINE private instead of ranting about it to the whole fucking world. I bet everyone that's come five feet of my mother knows now. It all hurts me so much that I don't really know what hurts the most. Is it the lies? The yelling? The distrust? The broken heart? The gossip? Or the fact that I can't so much as look my mother in the eyes without seeing a traitor. It all hurts. A lot. Maybe not equally but pretty damn close to tell. I can't talk to Cliff about it today because he's spending time with his friend. His friend is having problems and needs someone to talk to. He probably needs him more than I do, I'm sure. I'm used to that. I mean, my life isn't that bad, is it? I mean, I can still... never mind. I feel like I'm in a house filled with enemies. I have no one to talk to. Brianne is in Washington DC, Colleen is busy with school (The only reason I got to talk to her today is because I went to Band with my dearest mother), Cliff has to comfort his friend, and Bridgette's probably a sleep already. . . So, I guess all I have is you, kind stranger. But you won't talk back to give me opinions on the story or anything, will you? If you would, would I want to hear them? Who's side would you be on? I guess it depend on if you're a mother right now... I don't know, would you honestly put your daughter through this? Would you lie to, gossip about her, get mad over a kiss? I didn't think so... But thanks for reading this stupid little time waster. I'm sure you had better things to do than read about my problems... So, I give you my deepest and most sincere thanks. There aren't a lot of people out there, like you... There should be, but there aren't. Keep it up. You could save a life one day.
Last edited: 8 April 2009

‹Katie <DivineChaos>› says:   8 April 2009   827769  
that sucks majorly seriously!!!! you have a point most people i know
who are going out have kissed after lyk a week
lovetoshare112 says:   8 April 2009   522398  
This isn't a waste of time. It's a problem that you wanted t o share,
like I shared my problem with you.

Yes I am on your side. Parents are just... ermmm... overprotected over
nothing that's really worth getting angry about. They should be happy
that you have someone. But I think most parents are like this. They'll
do anything to get their "baby" to be single until they get out of the
x_Identical_x says:   10 April 2009   217537  

It's true that a mother never really wants to let go of her little
But I really don't like the way my mom is dealing with it.

Thanks for caring enough to read. :]]]
lovetoshare112 says:   10 April 2009   755733  
I think that if anyone came over this, they would just be heartless
to call your "conflict" stupid, really...
‹♥Hope;;The Little Blue Bandaid♥› says :   16 April 2009   746794  
awww....I'm really speechless... I want to say something to tell you
how much sympaphy (if that's how u spell it) I feel, but can't... 
sometimes I'm not so great with words... :/ Hope things with your mum
& you get better. bye! p.s. I still remember when I first met you
online and read ALL you great stories. you inspire me enourmously and
one day I want to write stories and maybe even a novel as good as you
can! -owlz.  p.s.s. send a message from time to time. byeeee.

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