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This diary entry is written by Mitsu_. ( View all entries )
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screw this shit (blahness/rant)Category: dissbooks likes tacos
Thursday, 27 November 2008
01:46:32 AM (GMT)
everyone thinks im depressed for "no reason".
When they ask me "do you really have a reason?"
I say nothing but what i want to really say 
" Fuck yea , i have a reason!"
A reason that people will hate me (not like they already do)
and people think i am Emo or Goth or Scene, maybe i am
but screw  all  (not all) of them, also
i cant say anything without saying the wrong thing and having
more people hating me!! There is too many problems in my life
And i dont give a fuck anymore what you say or think about me!
if you think im stupid or weird or retarded or a bitch i dont care!
but there is also a problem with that
there are some fuckers that think they can use me
or mess with me, or even feel sorry for me, cause they are stupid
most consider them my "friends", and i dont like them ok?
also all the dads in our family has screwed us over
we have 2 step-whatever- for and they act like dads nto step
my dad probebly doesnt like me, doesnt love or hate me.
I dont want to cause a scene
Also i hate it when people say "your bringing me down"
or "i know how you feel"
cause 1. they make me feel worse about me "bringing them down"
and 2. you dont know how i feel, you think you do but you dont
ok? At least in my school life i have friends like
haleigh, celeste, gabi, angel, mason, connor, rae rae, and some others
are there for me.
even if they dont consider me as a best friend or a good friend feeling better
and crushes
is there anyone out there for me? huh??
apperantly not
ian broke my heart
anthony doesnt give a shit
and all my other crushes go in and out of my system.
acting.........oh i am a wonderful actress, i just dont want to admit it
because i feel self centered, and i always find someone "better" that me.
i dont sing, cause i cant hit notes right
and i say i am pretty good, but people tell me otherwise
and i am sooo boring, i cant make anyone laugh.
but i try to be myself at school
but i am ashamed of who i really am.
and i want to hang out with the people that i want to hang out with
but i feel like im interfering with them and their friends
and i am always left out, its not fun.
and i have a replacement at school, so if i moved she would be
the new and better me, since everyone likes her.
and i am over stressed with school!
and i hate the way i look!!!
so yea......

i guess thats it for bye
Last edited: 27 November 2008

‹Wallflowers♥› says:   27 November 2008   432177  
That was long. :/
Your going through to much dude.
Mitsu_ says:   27 November 2008   125432  
oh this isnt even half of it
‹Wallflowers♥› says:   27 November 2008   418376  
Mitsu_ says:   27 November 2008   719566  
more than a part two
but i am too lazy to put them
i'll put part two on tomorrow
‹AlexAttached<3› says :   27 November 2008   821961  
You know what it is that I've learned to do?
It hurts like fuck, but at least you carry on living.

However, for me, I'm tired of pretending.
And I think you need to vent, to let that all out, for someone to
listen. You can't go through everything alone. I tried, I failed. 
Even if it is a stranger, a squirrel, or an ant on the floor, just do

And I'd really appreciate having a conversation with you.
Plus, when people say they 'can imagine', or tell you to 'not be so
negative', or even that 'you have countless other possibilities', they
should of shut the fuck up. Because if they only knew, they wouldn't
go around making it seem like it was easy. Thy don't know

Everyone has problems, issues, pains - sure, it's all hard to deal
with, it's complicated.
But they need to realize that some of those can't compare to
any. Mine aren't light, not by far. Neither are yours, I see.

But know that when things get too unbearable,
you have to hold on to the others that don't let you fall.
Otherwise, it'll be like you're dying.
I'm losing what I used to hold on for support, 
for hope, for everything. 
I don't want you to lose it, because it's horrible.
I feel too attached to you already.

And I feel like I have to do something to make you smile,
although I'm sure that at moments like these, 
it's one of the toughest things to achieve.

People are so overrated. They think they can help us by 'motivating'
us, or 'beating some sense into our dark, twisted minds', but fact is,
they can't.
They would do better in just listening. Sometimes it's what we need
('cept I've grown tired of that already).
And I say, if anyone ever dares to fuck with you about what you're
going through, and dare to do something that'll bring you down, I'm
going to shape their faces into pasta.


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